Big Papi = MVP

There is no doubt in my mind that David Ortiz - Big Papi to his 10 million close friends in the Red Sox Nation - is the MVP of the American League this season. His numbers are wicked strong and the time is right for a DH to be MVP.

The thing that impresses me most about Big Papi's year is that of his 47 homeruns, 20 have given the Sox the lead or tied a game. That is huge, that is EXACTLY what it means to be the most valuable player. Another impressive stat is that David has 18 homeruns and 50 RBI in the 7th inning or later - that is what clutch hitting is all about people! Alex who?

Mary Kay Reps

Have you ever noticed that all Mary Kay sales reps are heinous trolls? I am not picking on Mary Kay associates per say, really all those independent, direct sales, beauty consultants seem to be cut from the same mold. Why would anyone take make-up advice from someone who resembles Mimi Bobek? I don't get it. Short, stalky women with bad hair, loud clothes and clown colored make-up would not be the first place I would turn for beauty advice. In fact, that would be the last place I would want to go. Unless of course I WANTED to look like a clown, that's a different story.

Walking the Dog

I am definitely too lazy to ever own a dog, or perhaps dogs are just too high maintenance for me. Either way, I do not see a day when I will own a dog. It is funny to me because supposedly people are the master and the dog is the subordinate but I see it as the other way around.

I live smack dab in the middle of suburbia, it is townhouses and condos as far as the eye can see out my window. So when I see folks walking their dog I just have to chuckle. It takes a lot of commitment to own a dog in the city or in the burbs, I will give people some credit for that.

I was out for a jog last night and saw a prime example. A gal was out with her dog, suddenly the dog stops to smell a bush and she had to stop and stand there until he was satisfied with the whole situation. Then he takes off running and she had to run just to keep up. Then he stops again and the "master" has to stand there and wait while the "subordinate" waters the street light.

The best part is when Mr. Dog decides it is time to "drop off the kids." Not only do they have to stand there and wait, but then they have to pick it up. You tell me who is the boss in that relationship? If you stand around while I poop and then you pick it up afterwards, there is no doubt in my mind, you are my bitch.

The Uncloudy Day

Went for a mid afternoon jog yesterday - yes, the beauty of being self employed is I can do stuff like that - and it was one of those rare days where there literally was not a cloud in the sky. It was mid afternoon, sunny and warm, probably close to 90 degrees - kinda warm for the end of September around here. No complaints from me - it felt like the middle of summer, it was great! I am definitely a summer person.

Music

Finally, we have had some decent rock n roll songs to listen to on the radio the last couple months, it has been a while. It seemed like it was all post grunge music there for the longest time. You couldn't make out the lyrics for all the guitar, drums and bass going on - please don't make me listen to another Creed, 3 Doors Down, Lifehouse or Nickelback song! I found myself gravitating towards Country music simply because I could make out the lyrics to the songs.

Thank you for The Click Five, Hot Hot Heat, Keane, Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard and Howie Day. I gotta plug my Maine-Man-Howie, it's about time he's gotten some actual airplay. Give em' hell, Howie!

Bow Ties

Why do people insist on wearing bow ties? They look so completely stupid. I can not take anyone who is wearing a bow tie seriously. Whatever they are saying, it seems that usually they are discussing politics, I can't hear what they say. They could be talking about Armageddon or giving me tomorrow's winning lottery numbers but I would simply dismiss what they say as bunk. It doesn't really matter what they are talking about, I always end up thinking one thing to myself: "This guy is never gonna get laid!"

Don't these people have mirrors? Or if they are on TV, like the guy I saw on MSNBC tonight wearing one, don't they have people to dress them? I'm not exactly Mr. GQ, but I do know one thing - anyone who wears a bow tie looks like a doofus. Now a Hawaiian shirt on the other hand, that is super cool!

I'm In Love

You heard me correct, I am in love - let me shout it from the rooftops! Her name is Lindsay Czarniak and she has no idea who I am. Lin, as I like to call her, does the sports report on NBC4 Washington, my local NBC affiliate. Anyway, she is smoking hot - money, money, playboy bunny - and she is so enthusiastic when she is reading the teleprompter. She can make the Nationals losing another game a wonderful thing! I think this girl actually enjoys her job, a rare treat in this day and age. Did I mention she is a smoking hottie, she could be telling me about women's ping pong and I would be glued to the screen. Lindsay, you had me from hello!

Summer 2005

Well, unfortunately summer 2005 is winding down, only a week or so until Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. The weather will still be pretty sweet here in DC for another month or so, but mentally it just isn't the same after Labor Day. It has been a great summer, I've done a lot of fun things, gone a lot of neat places and hung out with a lot of cool people.

Back in April I was hoping we would have good weather this summer and we have indeed - am I a master prognosticator or what! Last summer it seemed like it rained every freakin' weekend, but this summer has been totally different. It has been hot, but not too hot. I tend to like the heat anyway. I will take 96 sunny and humid over 27 with snow and wind any old day. Now if we could just make it so we don't have any snow this winter, that would be money! Come on Global Warming, do your thing!!!

Movie Line of the Day:

"The prognosticator of prognosticators" - Groundhog Day.

E-Harmony?

Have you seen those E-Harmony ads with the white haired, old man talking about the 29 dimensions of personality or love or something like that. Every time I see that I think two things too myself. 1) Who would take love advice from this creepy old guy, he has pedophile written all over him, and 2) Who has 29 elements to their personality? I think I have like 4 dimensions, maybe only 3. I can see someone having like 10 or 12 dimensions, but 29 - come on now, give me a break!


Movie Line of the Day:

"I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I really have to go with breast size" - So I Married An Axe Murderer.

Back to School

Well, it's August 5th and the back to school ads are in full swing. I am soooooo glad that I do not have to go back to school. I always dreaded when the calendar turned to August growing up, because I knew my summer was winding down. I still feel the same way today, even though school is no longer involved. We are over the hump now and there are only so many more days to soak up the rays - I gotta make them count!!!

I will say the Office Max back to school ad with the "Rubber Band Man" song is pretty damn catchy though. It woud be a blast riding around town on the back of a shopping cart handing out pencils and notebooks to all the kiddies. The best part would be seeing the dejected looks on their faces when they realize it's time to hits the books again. Yeah, I am a dick, I know.

Random Thought

When I was in vacation in Maine last month I went to the 40th Annual Yarmouth Clam festival. It was tons of fun, but the one thing I didn't understand was that there was no Al Cohol (Thanks, Brad Paisley) for sale inside the fest. Now I know that it was a family type of event, but you couldn't even buy a plastic cup full of Bud Light. (Not that I would pay money to drink Bud Light.)

The thing that irked me about this deal was that in Maine, you can go in any grocery store and buy liquor. I am not taking wine and beer, I am talking the good stuff - Captain, Smirnoff, Jack Daniels - because most big stores have liquor licenses up there. It just seemed odd that there was no Al Cohol at the fest but you could walk into Shop n Save 2 blocks away and buy a bottle of Jameson if you wanted to. We ended up doing the old hide it in your coffee mug thing, so it all worked out for us in the grand scheme of things.

Don't even get me started about New Hampshire, they have rest stops with liquor stores in them! "Come to New Hampshire and get liquored up while you drive" - good idea people!

Garden State

Just finished up watching the movie Garden State for the 2nd time. Good flick, I would watch it again. I usually like funny movies or those sappy teen romance movies but lately I have found myself gravitating towards movies like Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite, Eternal Sunshine and Adaptation.

Traditionally, I look to movies to help me forget about my sad little life, give me a laugh, hope for a happy ending, that kind of thing. But lately I have been watching flicks like those mentioned and they make me feel like my life isn't so bad. I am pretty happy about where I am and where I am headed, so maybe that is why I can suddenly tolerate and even enjoy a movie like Adaptation or Eternal Sunshine.

Don't worry, I still have a place in my heart for Eurotrip.

July Update

Wow, July 05 is flying by. Spent a week in New England visiting friends and family and barely had time to sleep. Took my mom to the AA Allstar game in Portland, went to the 40th Annual Yarmouth Clam Festival, outlet shopping in Freeport, Big Bad Voodooo Daddy concert, wiffleball with my nephew Jordan. Saw Maine's "Premier" Jazz Funk Band - Sly Chi - they rocked the house! Ate lobster rolls, birthday cake, french fries, and 16 ounces of something called "Concrete"; it is frozen custard with pieces of candy swirled in - think Blizzard from DQ.

Had one day to relax and chill out in a hammock and catch some rays, wish I had 3 or 4 more days to do that. Maybe I can squeeze another trip North in August, do some hiking, mountain biking and spend more time in the hammock. Lying around doing nothing is really my specialty.

Too Busy To Post

Wow, I have been so busy lately that I haven't had the time to write about all the cool stuff I have done. Happy Hour - $2 Guinness!!!, Dinner in Old Town, Clarendon Ballroom, Ben n Jerry's, Eurotrip Live - long story there, Concert at Meriweather, Hiking in Shenandoah - I saw a black bear on the trail, supercool!

OK, I got to write about seeing a black bear, that was pretty cool. I have literally been going camping and hiking since I was born - thanks in part to mom n dad - and I have never come this close to a black bear before. I was out in Shenandoah hiking last Saturday, June 25th. I got in about 8 miles, not too bad considering how hot it was. On my way out I noticed a couple anthills that had been torn apart. I figured it was by something hungry looking for food. I actually remember thinking to myself - that looks like something a bear would do.

I was on the way back later in the day, about two miles from the car, and I come around the corner and in the trail about 100 feet ahead of me is a black bear. He or she sees me and immediately bolts into the woods off to my left. He is still between me and my car, so I have to keep walking to where he just was. I walk, slowly, cautiously and I look over to the left and there he is. Just sitting in the woods, looking at me, about 30 feet away. He is as curious as I am!

So I stand there watching him watching me for a minute or two. Finally, I remember to get out my camera - duh! By the time I turn it on and get it focused, he decides he has had enough and runs off into the woods. (Maybe I smell bad, I was a combination of sweat, suntan lotion and bugspray - very sexy!) I did manage to get a picture, but all I got was a big black blob behind a tree as he ran off. It is kind of like big foot. I know I saw a bear, but I don't have a lot of actual proof.

Pet Peeve

I thought I would share something that drives me crazy. People who are too lazy to walk their trash down to the damn dumpster. I live in a good size condo complex and I am amazed at the number of people who are too lazy to walk their trash down to the dumpster. Day in and day out, I see people in their cars driving the 50 yards down the hill to the dumpster. Hello, people - it's downhill!! They are always driving 5 miles an hour so their trash doesn't fall off their hood or trunk or wherever they placed it for the commute to the dumpster. Some people's kids! OK, I am going to find some pills and a bottle of Captain. I will be alright, don't worry about me!