Snowmageddeon!!!

I had two competing theories about the Winter of 2010 back in December. They were polar opposites and I knew that only one of them would pan out.

A) Snow in early December is the sign of a mild winter to come.

B) Every 7th winter in Washington DC is horrible, with tons of snow.

As you probably know by now, Theory B is the big winner. The trend of every 7 winters being a ferocious one in greater Washington DC lives on.

My first year here, 1996 was horrendous. Although to me, having spent the previous 22 winters in Maine, it didn't seem that bad. By the time the winter of 2003 rolled around, with the famous President's Day Blizzard, my Yankee blood had thinned out enough so that I was totally miserable.

Flash forward another 7 years to the winter of 2010 and I am enduring the worst winter in the history of Washington DC. Ever. So far I've shoveled 63 inches of the white stuff off my car this winter season. That is a new all time record for snow in one winter and it is only mid-February. In fact, that is 5 more inches of snow than my hometown up in Maine has gotten this year. Joy.



Deja vu all over again:



It is not only DC that is in the grips of a record winter. Baltimore and Philadelphia are also sharing the love and have also set all time snowfall records this winter. Meanwhile the winter festival in Portland, Maine has been canceled due to a lack of snow and the snow is hard to find at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, BC.

A storm even rolled through the deep south last Friday and left snow in places like Florida, Alabama and Georgia. As a result of it, 49 of the 50 U.S. states had measurable snow on the ground on Saturday, February 13, 2010. The only state without any snow was Hawaii. Hawaii sounds pretty good to me right now.

Mood: Cold


Failed Advertising Slogan of the Day:

"The Virginia Lottery: screwing you out of your hard earned money."


Movie Quote of the Day:

"He set an American League record with 4 wild pitches in one inning." - Major League

December 5th is Evil!!!

I don't know what it is about December 5th, but for some reason it likes to snow in NoVa (Northern Virginia) on that day. Here is the weather for the last several December 5ths:

2009 - Cold, snow - 4 inches
2008 - Sunny, cold, high of 40
2007 - Cold, snow - 3 inches
2006 - Sunny, cold, high of 41
2005 - Cold, snow - 3 inches
2004 - Warm, high of 59
2003 - Cold, high of 33
2002 - Cold, snow - 6 inches

The normal high temperature is "around" 50 degrees for December 5th. I say "around" 50 because I checked 2 different websites and got 3 different answers for it. Weather Underground says it is 48 and The Weather Channel has both 49 and 51 listed as the "average" high in different parts of their colossal website.

The last eight December 5ths have been quite a change from the four before them when it was always warm and we had 2 record highs set for the date within a period of three years:

2001 - Sunny, warm, record high of 77!
2000 - Warm, high of 51
1999 - Warm, high of 66
1998 - Partly sunny, warm, record high of 73!

For the record, my first two years in NoVa featured fairly uneventful December 5th weather:

1997 - Sun to clouds, high of 46
1996 - Cold, high of 39

I suppose when you average it all up you come out with a normal high of "around" 50 degrees.

You might think that I would be appalled at snow in December and in fact it is just the opposite. I think snow in December is the sign of a mild winter to come. I was actually very worried that we are due for a really bad winter this year. The first winter I was in NoVa, 1996, was horrible and seven years later the winter of 2003 was also a bad one. If the seven year pattern holds, 2010 is due to be another rough year with a huge snowstorm hiding somewhere in it. The more snow we have now, the less likely that outcome is in my opinion. I will take 4 inches of snow in December over 24 inches in February any day!

Mood: Chilly

Song Of The Day:

"But under my hood is internal combustion power and Satan is my motor."

-Satan Is My Motor

Cake

The Stinky Tree

Summer is by far my favorite season. I would take 12 months of July every year and only partly because my birthday is in July. But before it can be Summer it has to be Spring. Spring in NoVa is about a two month process from when the first few blades of grass turn green in early March to when the last tree leafs out in late April.

There are lots of obvious and no so obvious signs of spring each year in NoVa. Not too long after the first blades of new grass the prettiest little blue flowers pop up in lawns and parks everywhere. I don't know their name but they are one of the signs of spring it would be easy to overlook.



By mid March each year the Forsythia is starting to bloom and within a week or two the electric yellow blossoms dominate gardens and median strips alike all throughout the region. There is no denying that spring is on the way when you see it.

By the first week of April that familiar hum and the smell that goes with it are in the air as people begin their lawncare chores for the year. Actually, I believe that most lawncare is done by Landscaping Services in NoVa. It sometimes seems everywhere you look there is a latino with a bag of mulch and a leaf blower.

Trees of various shapes, sizes and colors begin to blossom the last few days of March or very early April. The most famous tree in our neck of the planet is the ornamental cherry tree. They are everywhere, not just around the tidal basin in DC.

For me the undeniable sign that spring is well on it's way and is an unstoppable force is the stinky tree. Each year NoVa is filled with a beautiful, blossom filled tree that makes you gag. From afar they are a sight to behold with their many branches reaching skyward covered in whitish-green blossoms.



I even dug out my Audubon Society's Eastern Forests book to see if I could figure out precisely what it is but had no luck. The leaves look exactly like the quaking aspen, the most widely distributed tree in North America, but I don't remember them smelling like this. Perhaps is is some other lesser known aspen or linden variety. Whatever it is, I always hold my breath as I walk underneath them.

Mood: Tired.

Song of the Day:

"Ooh, ooh that smell. Can't you smell that smell?

-That Smell

Lynyrd Skynyrd

Failed Advertising Slogan of the Day:

Forex: "A brand new way for you to lose money."

Coldest Day of the Year

Brrrr, it's cold out there today boys and girls. Doesn't matter if you are in Bangor, Maine or Atlanta, Georgia. Today was one of the coldest days in a long time over a wide swath of the country. Here in the NoVa (Northern Virginia) suburbs of Washington DC the high temperature was 17 degrees.

Now I know all you people out there with zip codes like 02492 and 04938 think I am a pansy for writing about a temperature of 17 degrees. That's balmy you say! But temperature is all relative to what you are used to. The normal high temperature here on January 16th is 41 degrees, so a high of 17 is pretty much unheard of. In fact, the last time we had a day this cold was February 4, 1996 - 13 years ago - when the mercury also topped out at 17 degrees.

I actually remember that day as a matter of fact. I had only been in DC for about 5 weeks and so 17 degrees didn't phase me a bit then. I actually went sightseeing downtown that day and walked all around the mall. Here's a pic in fact.



The ironic thing is that while much of the United States in in the deep freeze Alaska is having record high temperatures this week. Temperatures have been in the 40s and 50s in the heart of the Alaskan wilderness. Places like Denali National Park and Fairbanks, Alaska have set record high temperatures for the MONTH of January this week. All time records there have been shattered not by one or two degrees but by 10 to 15 degrees.

It's not unusual for it to get cold in DC, we have a few days every year where the temps don't get out of the 20s. The weird thing is we don't have any snow this time around. In fact, we haven't had any measureable snow all winter. We got a dusting one evening back in December but that is it. That simply means that we are due. Hopefully it won't all come at once, in March. That would totally suck.

Mood: Frostbitten

Song of the Day:

"We'll run away together. We'll spend some time forever. We'll never feel bad anymore."

- Island In The Sun

Weezer

Global Warming Stat of the Day:

There is enough water frozen in Antarctica to raise sea level by 160 feet. (Yowzah!!!)

It's Ironic:

That the only thing the 'prevent defense' used in football prevents is winning.

The Sting of Summer

Memorial Day Weekend is often referred to as the "unofficial start of summer". Works for me! Spring 2008 in NoVa has been a wet one. The good news is the drought is over. In fact, we have had a whopping 22 inches of rain since April 1st. That is just over 7 months worth of rain in 55 days. It certainly isn't time to start building an arch but it has made spring rather cold, damp and miserable.

Summer is my favorite season. You can keep winter for yourself, send me pictures of the spring and write me a postcard about autumn. Summer is where it's at! I will take 12 months of July - no school and my birthday to boot! To me, summer means road trips to the beach, baseball games on sweltering summer nights, campfires and smores with the family and getting off the beaten path for a little while.

With gas at $4.00 per gallon I will probably be a little more conservative with my travel time this year. I am more likely to attend a Potomac Nationals game - a round trip of 28 miles - than to make a trip to Baltimore, Frederick or Pittsburgh to watch a game - all places I have ventured to in the past to see a game.

I will most likely make one trip to New England instead of two but it will be a few days longer than in the past. I will probably squeeze in a trip to the Midwest to visit my bro somewhere too. Places to go and people to see this summer for sure.

My long weekend was nice. Got in my first baseball game of the year. Hot dog, nachos and a soda for $10.50 at Pfitzner Stadium - gotta love the minor leagues. I even had the ambition to make some ice cream on Sunday but I have apparently misplaced my ice cream maker. I have the thing you freeze but not the big arm that churns it. It's kind of like having a car without an engine. I hope psycho doesn't have it. The bitch definitely has my smores maker - grrrrrrrrrrr!

Mood: Adventurous

Song of the Day:

"As we are dancing, Mary's wrapping her arms around me and I can feel the sting of summer on my skin."

-Anything But Mine

Kenny Chesney

It's Ironic: That too much fertilizer will kill your lawn and garden.

Signs of Spring

I hate winter. I don't think I can even put into words how much I despise snow and cold and wind. Luckily the winter was a mild one here in NoVa. A mere 10 inches of snow this year, less than half of what we normally get. Maybe global warming isn't so bad after all. No, perish that thought. I don't want to get a sunburn walking from the house to my car in 2035. But that's a whole 'nother blog.

After our mild winter of 2008 spring is in full effect in greater DC. The Cherry Blossoms are out, the grass is green and it is only a matter of time until I will be burning my butt on the black leather seats of my car when I hop in. Here are my Top 5 Favorite Signs of Spring.

#5) Green Grass. Just looking out the window and seeing a vibrant green carpet of lawn. The grass turning green is about a month long process. You may catch a fresh green sprig or two in early March or even late February. But it takes 3 or 4 more weeks for several thousand of the little buggers to sprout up and form a lawn.

#4) Daffodils. The earliest breed of flowers to sprout up and show their elegance each year. I am always amazed how many daffodils you see when traveling around the local highways. It seems they are planted in every median strip and next to every off ramp in addition to being a garden staple. I-395 in Alexandria and Arlington is just chock full of daffodils.

#3) The smell of a fresh cut lawn. I am the only one in my family who is not stricken with big time allergies. As a result, I just love the unmistakable scent of a fresh cut lawn. That is a sign that spring is truly here to stay. I haven't got a whiff of it yet, but any day now it will hit me and I will drink it in.

#2) MLB Opening Day. Yes, I am slightly obsessed with baseball. I would probably watch 2 kids play 1-on-1 wiffleball if you gave me a hot dog, a Coke and a lawn chair. Just hearing the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd gives me tingles. Everyone is in first place on Opening Day - even the Rays, Pirates and Royals. I have been to a few opening days. It snowed at the last one I went to in 2003. I decided at that time that the best seat for Opening Day is on my couch.

#1) Forsythia. You know that bright yellow shrub you see every spring and don't know the name of. It's called forsythia. I didn't have to look it up. We had some in front of our house growing up. Its bright, vibrant, electric-yellow blossoms can brighten up even the most dreary March day. Just like with daffodils, I am always amazed how much forsythia there is. It is everywhere but you only notice it with its yellow bloomers a showing. The rest of the year it is very conspicuous with its standard green leaves.

Honorable Mention: Spring Training.

When pitchers and catchers report to Florida and Arizona in mid-February it is a pseudo-sign of spring. That at least means that the grass is green and the temps are warm in Florida and spring will be working its way up the East Coast soon.

Mood: Energetic

Listening To:

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name ain't John this is somebody else's greasy shirt, my name's Kurt."

-Famous People

Brad Paisley

January Thaw

One of the things I love most about living in NoVa is the weather. I spent 21 long winters in the frozen tundra of the Pine Tree State. Winters here are much more pleasant than they are so far North. I can deal with the cold to a certain degree but there is no doubt that my blood has thinned out over the past 12 years south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

The best thing about winter in the mid-Atlantic region is that every now and then there is a day of total respite. A day that feels like you have magically drifted back in time to a day of Indian summer from the fall or somehow leaped ahead to the spring season still to come. Today was one of those magical days. Sunny and warm with a gentle southern breeze and a high of 71 degrees.

We are lucky enough in NoVa to have a couple of these magical days sprinkled into our winter season each year. They seem to come out of nowhere and they seem to disappear in a flash. They make up for the miserable days of winter. The windy, snowy, cold days that make you want to move to Arizona.

All good things in moderation of course. If you string together too many of these wonderful days in a row or in a month it is just a sucker punch for the days of actual winter weather that await you down the line. Remember last January? I do. I also remember how cold and miserable last February was. Here's to hoping that today was indeed a day of magic not a sucker punch for what the rest of winter 2008 holds.

Signs of Spring

On a day like today, when the snow is coming down, I like to reflect on any recent signs of spring to remind myself that winter will eventually end. I saw a bunch of Robins last week here in tropical C'ville. I am not talking one or two, but probably 12 to 15 of the little guys and gals. They were out and about on one of our teaser, warm, spring-like days last week. They were bopping around, enjoying the sun and doing whatever else robins do. Some might consider that a sign of spring, but you will see robins on pretty much any warm, winter day here in NoVa. That could happen as easily in November or January as it does in March. I think they must spend winter here too, so seeing them mulling around is probably not an actual sign of spring.

The only definite sign of spring that I am 100% sure about has to deal with the Boston Red Sox. Last week the Sox played the Twins and the game ended in a tie. Each team had 4 runs scored in 9 innings of play but no extra innings were played. That only happens in February and March, games do not end in ties in April, July or October. Those games have extra innings and a winner and a loser. Spring Training is not really about winning and losing. It is about finding your hitting stroke and getting the velocity up on your fastball. It's the only time of the year where the score is incidental. A tie game is the ultimate example of that fact and a true sign of spring. Wahooo!


Weather Report:

Mother Nature is a dirty, dirty whore!!!


Nothing Cooler Than:

Hitting a walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the 9th inning to give your team the victory. Congratulations, Ed Rogers!

Thank You!

Sunny and 52 degrees at 11:30am. Thank you Mother Nature, Thank You!


Failed Advertising Slogan of The Day:

"Discover Card - Accepted at even less places than American Express."

Enough Already!!!

There is only one way to describe the weather this week - COLD AS BALLS! Yes, it is very vulgar and totally graphic, but it is also pretty darn accurate. I simply calls 'em how I sees 'em.

Everything is frozen solid out there. I had to use a HAMMER today to break up all the ice and snow before I could dig out my car. A HAMMER!!! It is so cold that you can walk ON TOP of the snow. Today I actually saw a HUMMER parked on top of the snow. Not in the snow, not next to the snow, ON TOP OF THE SNOW! A HUMMER!!! If I lived in Fargo or Detroit or Caribou I would expect this kinda thing, but this is DC. It is not supposed to get this cold here - ever!

OK, we get it. You have made your point, but enough already!!! You want me to say it? Is that what it's going to take? Fine, I admit it. Global warming is just some hoo-haa a bunch of scientists made up so they could get more Government grants. Are you happy now Mother Nature?

Please forward my mail to Arizona Bay, AZ 82731.


Random Movie Quote:

"Dude, you smell like a yeti." - American Pie


Best Name in College Hockey:

Brett Motherwell, Sophomore Defenseman, Boston College

Signs of Spring

Anyone who knows me is aware that I totally despise winter. Winter, in my opinion, sucks big moose pee-pee. So I am truly happy that there are signs of spring popping up all around me now that March is on the way out. The first real sign of spring that I always notice is the bright yellow blossoms of forsythia. I started seeing the first few blossoms about two weeks ago and it is in full bloom now for sure. Each year I am always amazed at how much forsythia there is. It is friggin' everywhere, but you only notice it when it is in bloom, those electric yellow blossoms are hard to miss.

I saw a guy mowing his lawn this week, which could be considered a sign of spring, but I just think it was a sign that he is retarded or obsessed with his lawn - or both. The next true sign of spring is coming up on Sunday morning at 2:00am, when we get to spring ahead. Sure we lose an hour of sleep on Sunday but we get an extra hour of daylight after dinner each day for the next 7 months. Sounds like a pretty good trade off to me. So now if I want to shoot some hoops or practice my serve after dinner I can. If I get truly ambitious and dust off the roller blades I can take a roll down suicide hill as late as 9:00pm - Score!

Rant of the Day:

I don't give two squirts of piss that Sabb was founder by aircraft engineers. That little bit of trivia could not be more irrelevant to my life.

Random Movie Quote:

"I'm the guy who killed all the flowers for the Levenstein-Band Geek wedding. Yeah, I'm that guy!" - American Wedding

There is Nothing Cooler Than:

Driving thru Chicago while listening to the Blues Brothers Soundtrack. Sing it with me now: "Baby don't you wanna go......."

Snow Pants

Another cold and windy day today, it did not feel much like spring is on the way. When it is cold and windy I dig out my "snow pants". They aren't actual snow pants, but they are gortex and insulated and black so they absorb the sun. They make being outside on a cold, windy or snowy day less annoying.

For the last month or so, every time I put them on, I think to myself that hopefully this will be the last time I need them for the winter and I can return them to the bottom of my dresser drawer soon. So far, each time I think that, I have been proven wrong within a few days. But I have a good feeling about it now, after all it is March. The odds are pretty good that warmer weather is right around the corner. I hope so, I can't wait to dig out my wifebeaters!

Random Movie Quote:

"I hate to break up the like-fest, but it's prime time for crime time!" - Super Troopers

I Feel Sorry For: Erik Estrada

Hawking Arkansas real estate at 2am, that can't be a good sign. It has all been downhill for him since he quit "CHiPs". No, wait he didn't quit, they cancelled it, oops - my bad.

Almost, So Close, Not Quite....

We were so close, we nearly got through the winter unscathed, until yesterday. The forecast all day Saturday was for 6 to 12 inches of the white stuff. Yucko, that can't be good. No fear, seeing is believing. I have lived in DC long enough to know that just because they predict a foot of snow doesn't mean we will get a foot of snow.

It was looking pretty good last night. When I went to bed around midnight, we only had about an inch of snow. I was stoked. They got it wrong again I thought to myself. I came very close to writing up a blog last night and calling all the weather prognosticators fools. "Crazy dreamers who have nothing else to do but to waste out time." For once I showed some restraint. Good thing!

I woke up this morning and opened up the curtains and this blinding whiteness greeted me. Holy cow, there is friggin' snow everywhere. It must have snowed like crazy after I turned in because we have 10 inches of the white stuff on the ground now. (Yes, I am a dork, I went outside with a ruler and measured.) So, for once they got it right.

The good news is that it is supposed to warm up later this week. 54 degrees on Wednesday, 57 degrees on Thursday and a whopping 60 degrees on Friday. So all this white stuff shouldn't be around for too long. But remember, seeing is believing.

Hibernation

The first 13 days of December 2005 have re-enforced my long standing belief that Winter sucks big time! The only answer that I can come up with - besides moving to Tuscon, Arizona - is hibernation. If I could curl up around December 15th each year and snooze straight through to the middle of March, that would be sweet! Yeah, sure I would miss out on Christmas and all the loot it brings my way and New Year's too - like I don't drink enough already? But missing out on days when the high temperature is say, 29 degrees would be more than enough compensation for that. How many days until spring? Agghhhh!!!

The Weather Channel

I can watch the Weather Channel for hours on end, especially if there is a hurricane or a blizzard or some other weather event going on. There is something exciting about knowing what the high temperature in Peoria, Illinois is going to be two days before the day after tomorrow. (That's for you Skillz!)

Boy do those people get excited about the weather. They even make their correspondents go outside when "extreme" weather hits to tell us what is going on. "Yup, it's raining and very windy as the hurricane approaches, back to you in the stuuuuuddddiooooo." I am amazed they haven't lost a few people this year with all the damn hurricanes we've had.

There is one guy on there that I worry about though, good old Jim Cantori. He is waaayyy too excited about the weather. Especially the prospect for bad weather. If there's a blizzard forming or a hurricane on the way - he is genuinely excited. He will always give you the worst case scenario - "Lots of people stand to lose power from this storm". It is like he is wishing bad things to happen to people. I think he may actually have a woody as he sits behind his weather desk. Then again, if I was sitting next to Sarah Libby, Jen Carfagno or Hillary Andrews I would too.

The Uncloudy Day

Went for a mid afternoon jog yesterday - yes, the beauty of being self employed is I can do stuff like that - and it was one of those rare days where there literally was not a cloud in the sky. It was mid afternoon, sunny and warm, probably close to 90 degrees - kinda warm for the end of September around here. No complaints from me - it felt like the middle of summer, it was great! I am definitely a summer person.

Summer 2005

Well, unfortunately summer 2005 is winding down, only a week or so until Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. The weather will still be pretty sweet here in DC for another month or so, but mentally it just isn't the same after Labor Day. It has been a great summer, I've done a lot of fun things, gone a lot of neat places and hung out with a lot of cool people.

Back in April I was hoping we would have good weather this summer and we have indeed - am I a master prognosticator or what! Last summer it seemed like it rained every freakin' weekend, but this summer has been totally different. It has been hot, but not too hot. I tend to like the heat anyway. I will take 96 sunny and humid over 27 with snow and wind any old day. Now if we could just make it so we don't have any snow this winter, that would be money! Come on Global Warming, do your thing!!!

Movie Line of the Day:

"The prognosticator of prognosticators" - Groundhog Day.

The Weather

What a super nice weekend we just had. Sunny and mild, but not too warm. Spring has finally sprung for real in Greater DC, the trees are in bloom or are starting to leaf out. This time of year is nice - unless you have allergies of course - because it is warm but there really aren't any bugs or insects around to harrass you.

Played basketball with the boys (and girls) today also got in some tennis this evening. Got some sun and read the paper on my deck on Saturday and went for an afternoon jog too.

I hope this is a sign of things to come - having a nice weekend for a change. Seems like all spring, summer and fall last year it rained on the weekends. Don't need another year of that, thank you very much!

What did you do this weekend to enjoy the weather?