One of my favorite films of all time is Good Will Hunting. It was on TV the other day and the message I always take away from it is living your life without regret. Overall, I am pretty satisfied with my life over the past 37.5 years and there isn't really much I would do differently. That being said, there are a few things I would love a chance to go back and do. They aren't earth shattering moments or moments that would have changed the course of fate but rather opportunities that came my way but for some reason or another were not acted upon. Here they are:
Beach Boys Concert: When I was in high school The Beach Boys came to Maine for a show at Loring Air Force Base in the town of Limestone. I am 95% sure it was on July 4, 1988 but I haven't been able to find the exact date anywhere online. Limestone is 202 miles from my hometown and I did not have a car or driver's license in my high school years so the odds of me making it to this show seemed pretty minimal. Then out of the blue, my next door neighbor Doug, who was originally from that part of the state, said he was going to the show and offered me a chance to go. At the time I didn't know Doug very well so the thought of driving 200 miles to the middle of nowhere for a concert with some random dude wasn't very appealing. So I turned down his offer and missed what I assume is the Beach Boys first and only concert in the Pine Tree State.
Man Without A Face Extra: In 1992 they filmed the Mel Gibson movie The Man Without A Face in Maine. They filmed scenes all over the state all summer long. The climax of the movie is the graduation scene and to film it they needed tons of extras to be the crowd for the scene. It was a slam dunk, if you show up at this location, on this date, at this time, you will be an extra in the film. My buddy Aaron and I were all set to go but he ended up having to work unexpectedly that day and as a result I blew it off. It would have been pretty cool to say, "Oh yeah, I was in that film" whenever it was on TV for the rest of my life.
Dukesfest: Actor Ben Jones, better known as Cooter, started an annual Dukes of Hazzard fan gathering called Dukesfest in Sperryville, Virginia in 1999. It quickly grew tremendously in popularity, so much that he actually started having two festivals, one in Virginia and another in Tennessee. My buddy Drew and I were all set to go to the 2003 Dukesfest in Sperryville, Virginia which is a mere 50 miles from my house. But the morning of the fest I blew it off for a hot date with a gal named Angie. Low and behold, my date with Angie ended up being postponed so I missed the festival for nothing. Unfortunately, that ended up being the last Dukesfest in Sperryville. It simply grew too big for this tiny mountain town and moved 400 miles south to Tennessee the following year.
Last Game At Rosenblatt Stadium: If you know anything about college baseball you know what happens each June at Rosenblatt Stadium - the College World Series (CWS). Rosenblatt has been the home of the CWS since 1950. Like nearly all old things in the US, Rosenblatt is being replaced by a new stadium with tons of luxury boxes and fancy amenities. This means that the 2010 CWS was the last to be played there. The stadium is also the home of the Omaha Royals minor league baseball team, meaning their last game of the 2010 season would actually be the last baseball game ever played at Rosenblatt. I tried desperately to convince someone, anyone of my friends to make an early September road trip to go to the last game. In the end no one wanted to go so I missed my chance but not for lack of effort.
Mood: Nostalgic
Movie Quote of the Day:
"Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?" - Good Will Hunting
Showing posts with label All Access Regis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label All Access Regis. Show all posts
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sunday, August 1, 2010
What I Did On My Summer Vacation
I spent the past 17 days on vacation in New England. Here are some of the highlights from my Summer Vacation 2010:
Played Croquet: July 15, July 16, July 31
Ate Lobster: July 17 – both lunch and dinner!
Had A Campfire: July 16, July 24, July 29
Went Bowling: July 28
Ate Ice Cream: July 17, July 19, July 25, July 28
Made A Sand Castle: July 20
Ate at McDonald’s July 20 – lunch in Bucksport, ME and dinner in Brewer, ME
Mowed The Lawn: July 21
Layed In The Hammock: July 21, July 22, July 27, July 28, July 29
Played Wiffleball: July 18, July 21, July 28
Went Shopping: July 19, July 28
Ate Smores: July 16, July 24
Drank Alcohol: July 15, July 16, July 22, July 23, July 24, July 25
Went Swimming: July 30; July 31
Towns Visited: Yarmouth, ME; Freeport, ME; Hampden, ME; Hermon, ME; Bangor, ME; Manset, ME; Industry, ME; Wilton, ME; Orono, ME; Upton, MA.
Mood: Recharged!
Song of the Day:
"So we'll live out in our old van, travel all across this land"
-Free
Zac Brown Band
Failed Advertising Slogan Of The Day:
"Bud Light Lime: Still tastes like ass, but we added lime!"
Played Croquet: July 15, July 16, July 31
Ate Lobster: July 17 – both lunch and dinner!
Had A Campfire: July 16, July 24, July 29
Went Bowling: July 28
Ate Ice Cream: July 17, July 19, July 25, July 28
Made A Sand Castle: July 20
Ate at McDonald’s July 20 – lunch in Bucksport, ME and dinner in Brewer, ME
Mowed The Lawn: July 21
Layed In The Hammock: July 21, July 22, July 27, July 28, July 29
Played Wiffleball: July 18, July 21, July 28
Went Shopping: July 19, July 28
Ate Smores: July 16, July 24
Drank Alcohol: July 15, July 16, July 22, July 23, July 24, July 25
Went Swimming: July 30; July 31
Towns Visited: Yarmouth, ME; Freeport, ME; Hampden, ME; Hermon, ME; Bangor, ME; Manset, ME; Industry, ME; Wilton, ME; Orono, ME; Upton, MA.
Mood: Recharged!
Song of the Day:
"So we'll live out in our old van, travel all across this land"
-Free
Zac Brown Band
Failed Advertising Slogan Of The Day:
"Bud Light Lime: Still tastes like ass, but we added lime!"
Sunday, June 20, 2010
E Tu Vuvuzela?
I am a big believer in Karma. I think if you do something good for someone you will be paid back at some time down the road. Of course this also means that the converse is true. If you act like a douchebag, it will come back to bite you in the ass. Karma got some revenge on me last night. Here's the back story.
On August 23, 2008 I went to a Potomac Nationals game with my buddy Drew. We were celebrating his birthday and had, let's just say, "a few" beers. On my way back from one of many trips to the bathroom I passed by the concession stand and right on the counter were those plastic horns you often see and hear at sporting events. I now know they are called "vuvuzelas" thanks to the 2010 World Cup, but I didn't know that in 2008. Anyway, my wallet gets a little loose after "a few" beers so I whipped out a Hamilton, plunked it on the counter, scored 2 vuvuzelas, and proudly strolled back to my seat with them.
What I didn't know then is that it takes a little bit of talent to get the vuvuzelas to make that excruciatingly annoying noise they are so famous for. You don't just blow air into the damn things. There is a definite technique involved. My buddy Drew knew what he was doing and had his vuvuzela humming in no time flat. Me, not so much. I would blow and nothing would happen or blow and a weak, feeble sound would limp out the vuvuzela. Drew gave me some lessons, luckily for free or perhaps for beer. I distinctly remember him saying "you have to parse your lips," not that I knew what to do with that information.
Eventually, after lots and lot of practice and a whole bunch of loud, obnoxious and sometimes odd noises I got the hang of the vuvuzela. By the end of the game I had it down and could make a long, loud vuvuzela note that would make any 10 year old proud.
Apparently our impromptu vuvuzela music lesson and concert was not well received by the surrounding baseball fans. We were of course oblivious to this fact and kept those bad boys humming right along all game long and even during the post-game fireworks display. That is until some guy came over and threatened our lives if we kept playing them. Yes, this seriously happened. This is all too stupid to make up.
Flash forward to June 19, 2010. As you may have heard "revenge is a dish best served cold." I got my payback for the "Vuvuzela Incident" at the Bowie Baysox game last night. Big time! My buddy Jerome and I took his daughter to the game to celebrate Father's Day. We had sweet seats - 2nd row, 1st base side, right behind the Baysox dugout.
Unfortunately, these seats were smack, dab in the middle of little league central. We were surrounded by a sea of little dudes in bright blue "Cubs" attire. I will admit, they looked pretty sporty in their unis. They even had uniform numbers and their names on the back just like the big leaguers. But they were 7 and 8 year olds. They were more interested in consuming mass amounts of sugar and being super annoying than watching the game.
We lasted 6.5 innings in our original seats before relocating to the far opposite side of the ballpark. It really did seem like the little cub bastards were multiplying as the innings went on. The wildcard was their coach, luckily I have already forgotten his name. He was super-crazy-obnoxious and wouldn't shut up for more than 2 or 3 consecutive seconds all night long. And he was of course, sitting right behind me. I seriously wonder if he was on speed. No one should be able to run at that gear for 3 hours straight. I am pretty obnoxious at sporting events (ask Drew about the "You can't do that chant" at the Frozen Four) but this guy made me look like a deaf mute. He was wayyyyyyyyyy over the top.
The Baysox lost the game, Orioles style. They were winning 2-0 heading into the top of the 9th inning and promptly gave up 2 runs to the Harrisburg Senators to make things way too interesting. The Baysox had the winning run on 2nd base in both the 9th and 10th innings but couldn't push it across. The Senators smacked not one, but THREE solo home runs in the 12th inning to steal the game and silence the crowd. It was a fitting end to the game and the evening.
Mood: Humble
Movie Quote of the Day:
"Have you ever been karmically bitch-slapped by a six-armed goddess?"
-Bubble Boy
Red Sox Stat of the Day:
The Sox were 23-4 in 2009 when Big Papi hit a home run.
On August 23, 2008 I went to a Potomac Nationals game with my buddy Drew. We were celebrating his birthday and had, let's just say, "a few" beers. On my way back from one of many trips to the bathroom I passed by the concession stand and right on the counter were those plastic horns you often see and hear at sporting events. I now know they are called "vuvuzelas" thanks to the 2010 World Cup, but I didn't know that in 2008. Anyway, my wallet gets a little loose after "a few" beers so I whipped out a Hamilton, plunked it on the counter, scored 2 vuvuzelas, and proudly strolled back to my seat with them.
What I didn't know then is that it takes a little bit of talent to get the vuvuzelas to make that excruciatingly annoying noise they are so famous for. You don't just blow air into the damn things. There is a definite technique involved. My buddy Drew knew what he was doing and had his vuvuzela humming in no time flat. Me, not so much. I would blow and nothing would happen or blow and a weak, feeble sound would limp out the vuvuzela. Drew gave me some lessons, luckily for free or perhaps for beer. I distinctly remember him saying "you have to parse your lips," not that I knew what to do with that information.
Eventually, after lots and lot of practice and a whole bunch of loud, obnoxious and sometimes odd noises I got the hang of the vuvuzela. By the end of the game I had it down and could make a long, loud vuvuzela note that would make any 10 year old proud.
Apparently our impromptu vuvuzela music lesson and concert was not well received by the surrounding baseball fans. We were of course oblivious to this fact and kept those bad boys humming right along all game long and even during the post-game fireworks display. That is until some guy came over and threatened our lives if we kept playing them. Yes, this seriously happened. This is all too stupid to make up.
Flash forward to June 19, 2010. As you may have heard "revenge is a dish best served cold." I got my payback for the "Vuvuzela Incident" at the Bowie Baysox game last night. Big time! My buddy Jerome and I took his daughter to the game to celebrate Father's Day. We had sweet seats - 2nd row, 1st base side, right behind the Baysox dugout.
Unfortunately, these seats were smack, dab in the middle of little league central. We were surrounded by a sea of little dudes in bright blue "Cubs" attire. I will admit, they looked pretty sporty in their unis. They even had uniform numbers and their names on the back just like the big leaguers. But they were 7 and 8 year olds. They were more interested in consuming mass amounts of sugar and being super annoying than watching the game.
We lasted 6.5 innings in our original seats before relocating to the far opposite side of the ballpark. It really did seem like the little cub bastards were multiplying as the innings went on. The wildcard was their coach, luckily I have already forgotten his name. He was super-crazy-obnoxious and wouldn't shut up for more than 2 or 3 consecutive seconds all night long. And he was of course, sitting right behind me. I seriously wonder if he was on speed. No one should be able to run at that gear for 3 hours straight. I am pretty obnoxious at sporting events (ask Drew about the "You can't do that chant" at the Frozen Four) but this guy made me look like a deaf mute. He was wayyyyyyyyyy over the top.
The Baysox lost the game, Orioles style. They were winning 2-0 heading into the top of the 9th inning and promptly gave up 2 runs to the Harrisburg Senators to make things way too interesting. The Baysox had the winning run on 2nd base in both the 9th and 10th innings but couldn't push it across. The Senators smacked not one, but THREE solo home runs in the 12th inning to steal the game and silence the crowd. It was a fitting end to the game and the evening.
Mood: Humble
Movie Quote of the Day:
"Have you ever been karmically bitch-slapped by a six-armed goddess?"
-Bubble Boy
Red Sox Stat of the Day:
The Sox were 23-4 in 2009 when Big Papi hit a home run.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Kemo Therapy
I spent last Saturday doing some hiking on the Appalachian Trail (AT) in my continuing quest to hike the AT through the section of northern Virginia that I live in. This in itself isn't that memorable. I probably spend 10 to 15 days a year hiking the AT by myself - much to my sister's chagrin.
I had a beautiful day for hiking and knocked out about 6 AT miles, 12 miles round trip. I started out just north of Route 50 and headed south from Ashby's Gap on the AT. The trail climbed steadily higher as I walked south, steeply at first and then more gradual after the first mile. About two miles in I came to an opening in the trail. This was the edge of Sky Meadows State Park, which is exactly as the name implies, a series of high alpine meadows with trails that run through them.
Just before mile 4 I said goodbye to Sky Meadows State Park and the AT meandered back into the woods as it went further south. My destination was the Dick's Dome shelter, about 2 miles south of Sky Meadows. I was making good time and the breeze was keeping the bugs away - it was a good day!
It wasn't too long before I saw the brown sign up ahead pointing me to the Dick's Dome Shelter a little ways off the AT. I always try to check out each AT shelter I come across. I have learned that all AT shelters are not created equally. It's good to have a handle on which ones to count on and which ones to avoid on a multi day hike. Dick's Dome is about 0.2 miles off the actual AT, a fairly long distance after you have been traipsing through the woods for 10 or 15 miles.
I was hoping Dick's Dome would be empty so I could really poke around and get a good feel for the place but no such luck. I could see a man setting up camp as I approached on the trail. He was wearing bright yellow Crocs as he puttered around, which I found quite comical. There is no way I would lug a pair of those ugly ass shoes this far into the woods, but that's just me.
Much to my surprise, he was very friendly and talkative, so I knew he wasn't from around here. It turns out he was from New Hampshire and his trail name was Kemo. Kemo was just a few days shy of finishing the entire AT, all 2,176 miles of it! Kemo is a section hiker and he has been hiking 75 to 200 miles of the AT for years and years. He said he began hiking it in 1967 and he will finish it this week at age 67.
I sat down and shared my carrot sticks with Kemo and we talked like old friends about Maine, New Hampshire, the crazy winter of 2010, and of our stories on the AT. I even convinced him to pose for a photo. I offered to email him a copy but he said he didn't have an email address, go figure. So Kemo, here's a salute to you and your conquering of the AT, I am right behind you! Well not right behind you, technically I am 2,093.8 miles behind you, but progress is progress!
Mood: Cleansed
Song Of The Day:
"Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight."
- Enter Sandman
Metallica
It's Ironic :
That I saw a Motorist Assistance Vehicle disabled on the side of the interstate today.
I had a beautiful day for hiking and knocked out about 6 AT miles, 12 miles round trip. I started out just north of Route 50 and headed south from Ashby's Gap on the AT. The trail climbed steadily higher as I walked south, steeply at first and then more gradual after the first mile. About two miles in I came to an opening in the trail. This was the edge of Sky Meadows State Park, which is exactly as the name implies, a series of high alpine meadows with trails that run through them.
Just before mile 4 I said goodbye to Sky Meadows State Park and the AT meandered back into the woods as it went further south. My destination was the Dick's Dome shelter, about 2 miles south of Sky Meadows. I was making good time and the breeze was keeping the bugs away - it was a good day!
It wasn't too long before I saw the brown sign up ahead pointing me to the Dick's Dome Shelter a little ways off the AT. I always try to check out each AT shelter I come across. I have learned that all AT shelters are not created equally. It's good to have a handle on which ones to count on and which ones to avoid on a multi day hike. Dick's Dome is about 0.2 miles off the actual AT, a fairly long distance after you have been traipsing through the woods for 10 or 15 miles.
I was hoping Dick's Dome would be empty so I could really poke around and get a good feel for the place but no such luck. I could see a man setting up camp as I approached on the trail. He was wearing bright yellow Crocs as he puttered around, which I found quite comical. There is no way I would lug a pair of those ugly ass shoes this far into the woods, but that's just me.
Much to my surprise, he was very friendly and talkative, so I knew he wasn't from around here. It turns out he was from New Hampshire and his trail name was Kemo. Kemo was just a few days shy of finishing the entire AT, all 2,176 miles of it! Kemo is a section hiker and he has been hiking 75 to 200 miles of the AT for years and years. He said he began hiking it in 1967 and he will finish it this week at age 67.
I sat down and shared my carrot sticks with Kemo and we talked like old friends about Maine, New Hampshire, the crazy winter of 2010, and of our stories on the AT. I even convinced him to pose for a photo. I offered to email him a copy but he said he didn't have an email address, go figure. So Kemo, here's a salute to you and your conquering of the AT, I am right behind you! Well not right behind you, technically I am 2,093.8 miles behind you, but progress is progress!
Mood: Cleansed
Song Of The Day:
"Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight."
- Enter Sandman
Metallica
It's Ironic :
That I saw a Motorist Assistance Vehicle disabled on the side of the interstate today.
Friday, November 20, 2009
If It Ain't Broke...
You know the rest of that saying, I know you do. Your parents probably used it almost as much as "were you raised in a barn?" or perhaps "I'm glad you aren't my kid, you stupid imbecilic retard." OK, that is actually a line from the movie One Crazy Summer.
Anyway, every now and then a company takes what is by all accounts a wonderful product and "improves" it but the end result is that it gets fucked up all to hell. The best example of this endeavor is the 1985 introduction of, drum roll please, New Coke.
One of my favorite childhood treats and something I still seek out to this day when I am back in New England are Necco Wafers. For those unfamiliar, Necco stands for New England Confectionary Company and they are based in Revere, Massachusetts. Necco has been making Necco Wafers since 1847. They come in rolls with 8 assorted flavors. They have standard flavors like lemon, lime, chocolate and orange but also very unique flavors of clove, wintergreen, cinnamon and licorice. Just popping one in my mouth instantly takes me back to days of yore.
Well, it used to but not anymore. Necco has suddenly "updated" Necco Wafers in 2009 after 162 years of continuous sales success. Translation: "they have fucked them all to hell." Their website brags of making the candy out of all natural flavors and blah, blah, blah. That is all well and good but they suddenly taste like shit. No, I take that back, they taste like the shit that eats shit.
If I get really ambitious I may email the company to let them know they fucked this one up. A quick search of the web reveals there are lots of longtime Necco Wafer fans just as pissed off as I am. I wonder if their management team used to work for Coke in the mid-1980s?
Mood: Violated
Song Of The Day:
"I love you like a fat kid love cake."
-21 Questions
50 Cent
Anyway, every now and then a company takes what is by all accounts a wonderful product and "improves" it but the end result is that it gets fucked up all to hell. The best example of this endeavor is the 1985 introduction of, drum roll please, New Coke.
One of my favorite childhood treats and something I still seek out to this day when I am back in New England are Necco Wafers. For those unfamiliar, Necco stands for New England Confectionary Company and they are based in Revere, Massachusetts. Necco has been making Necco Wafers since 1847. They come in rolls with 8 assorted flavors. They have standard flavors like lemon, lime, chocolate and orange but also very unique flavors of clove, wintergreen, cinnamon and licorice. Just popping one in my mouth instantly takes me back to days of yore.
Well, it used to but not anymore. Necco has suddenly "updated" Necco Wafers in 2009 after 162 years of continuous sales success. Translation: "they have fucked them all to hell." Their website brags of making the candy out of all natural flavors and blah, blah, blah. That is all well and good but they suddenly taste like shit. No, I take that back, they taste like the shit that eats shit.
If I get really ambitious I may email the company to let them know they fucked this one up. A quick search of the web reveals there are lots of longtime Necco Wafer fans just as pissed off as I am. I wonder if their management team used to work for Coke in the mid-1980s?
Mood: Violated
Song Of The Day:
"I love you like a fat kid love cake."
-21 Questions
50 Cent
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Road To Nowhere
One of the things I try to do everyday is go for a walk. It helps me to get some exercise, a healthy tan – which is probably an oxymoron – and clear my head. At home I walk everyday like clockwork and I try to do the same on the road as well. My mom is actually the one who got me walking, she has been walking regularly for probably a dozen years or more.
Whenever I go north for a visit mom and I always try to get in as many walks as possible. Our favorite spot is a new subdivision just a ways up the street from her. It is called Stone Creek and has a beautifully maintained entrance with a stone wall, flowers, plants and shrubs and a nicely manicured lawn. The only problem with Stone Creek is that none of the 14 house lots have been sold which makes Greystone Drive a road to nowhere.
The developers started clearing away trees and building what became Greystone Drive in the fall of 2007. By April 2008 the road was paved, lots were cleared and marked and had brand spanking new For Sale signs on them. Fifteen months later not much has changed. It could be that it was just a bad time to make a new housing development with the real estate bubble bursting or it could be that these lots are wayyyyy overpriced. They cost between $60,000 and $80,000 for lots of 2 to 4 acres. That is a steep price most anywhere in the country and seems especially high in Maine.
At first we would bet on when the first lot would sell as we walked up and down Greystone Drive. August 15th, March 21st, November 11th and so on. We have given that up entirely at this point. Now we simply discuss which of the 14 lots will be the first to be sold and the various pros and cons of each lot. My money is on lot number 1, right at the top of the hill. It has lots of tall pine trees and just looks like a very inviting place to build a home to me.
The other fascinating thing about Stone Creek is that it has a very nice community mailbox already. It has slots for all of the someday-to-be houses and even a slot for outgoing mail. I would love to pop a letter in there one day and see how long it takes to be delivered. It could be months or even years at this point before the postal service starts checking it.
Mood: Rejuvenated.
Song Of The Day:
"There ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees."
-Ain't No Rest For The Wicked
Cage The Elephant
Whenever I go north for a visit mom and I always try to get in as many walks as possible. Our favorite spot is a new subdivision just a ways up the street from her. It is called Stone Creek and has a beautifully maintained entrance with a stone wall, flowers, plants and shrubs and a nicely manicured lawn. The only problem with Stone Creek is that none of the 14 house lots have been sold which makes Greystone Drive a road to nowhere.
The developers started clearing away trees and building what became Greystone Drive in the fall of 2007. By April 2008 the road was paved, lots were cleared and marked and had brand spanking new For Sale signs on them. Fifteen months later not much has changed. It could be that it was just a bad time to make a new housing development with the real estate bubble bursting or it could be that these lots are wayyyyy overpriced. They cost between $60,000 and $80,000 for lots of 2 to 4 acres. That is a steep price most anywhere in the country and seems especially high in Maine.
At first we would bet on when the first lot would sell as we walked up and down Greystone Drive. August 15th, March 21st, November 11th and so on. We have given that up entirely at this point. Now we simply discuss which of the 14 lots will be the first to be sold and the various pros and cons of each lot. My money is on lot number 1, right at the top of the hill. It has lots of tall pine trees and just looks like a very inviting place to build a home to me.
The other fascinating thing about Stone Creek is that it has a very nice community mailbox already. It has slots for all of the someday-to-be houses and even a slot for outgoing mail. I would love to pop a letter in there one day and see how long it takes to be delivered. It could be months or even years at this point before the postal service starts checking it.
Mood: Rejuvenated.
Song Of The Day:
"There ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees."
-Ain't No Rest For The Wicked
Cage The Elephant
Friday, June 19, 2009
The People In My Neighborhood
For about the past four years I have been walking two miles every day to get a little exercise and fresh air. I literally leave my house, walk a mile through my neighborhood, turn around and walk back home. After approximately 3,000 trips up and down the sidewalk the walk has become a bit on the mundane side.
To lighten up the monotony some I began counting cars a couple years back. I just keep a running count of how many cars pass me on my trip. It varies depending on what time of day I go. If I go around dinner time I will see a ton of cars, 97 is the all time high. That's about 3 cars a minute driving through my little slice of suburbia. The low is a mere 8 cars when I went about midnight one night.
I also count other things from time to time, squirrels in the fall, robins in the spring for instance. After four years of scoping out my neighborhood I have a pretty good handle on things. I recognize when a car has been parked in the same spot for three weeks, new street signs and other random things. Here are some of the highlights of my walk through zip code 20121.
Yellow Shirt Guy:
If I leave my house at about 1:55pm, my standard departure time, I usually see a guy in a little green Honda wearing a bright yellow shirt driving towards me as I walk. I figure he is on his lunch break and heading back to work as he is always heading in the same direction at about the same time of day.
Darky The Squirrel:
There is a black squirrel in my neighborhood. I see him all the time, not just on my walk. Black squirrels are a genetic mutation and not all that uncommon but just seeing him is a bit of a treat. I always yell out "Hi Darky" whenever I see him. He has never said anything back though.
The Pedophile:
I also see this old man at the park pretty regularly on the swings. I call him the pedophile but maybe he is just a retired pilot who missed the friendly skies. He is on the swings a couple days a week and always looks like he is having a blast swinging away.
The Dog Lady:
I also see a retired woman walking her dog on a pretty regular basis. We have brief conversations about the weather but I don't even know her name after probably two years of seeing her. I do know her dog was a rescue from Hurricane Katrina but that's about it.
The Bleeding Tree:
Last year the power company cut down a bunch of trees around their power lines. Ever since, one of the leftover stumps has been "bleeding". Really, it just means the roots of the tree are still alive and capturing water and nutrients and sending them upwards to the tree that is no longer there. Still, it's wicked creepy and the kind of thing that Stephen King would love to use in one of his novels.
Homeless Guy:
Every now and then I see a guy sleeping in his car at night. He isn't there every night but every so often he will be in it with his pillow and blankets for a few nights in a row. The car is always there but he is not always in it. Maybe it's just when his mother-in-law comes to visit.
Mood: Content
Song Of The Day:
"Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood, in your neighborhood."
-In Your Neighborhood
The Muppets
To lighten up the monotony some I began counting cars a couple years back. I just keep a running count of how many cars pass me on my trip. It varies depending on what time of day I go. If I go around dinner time I will see a ton of cars, 97 is the all time high. That's about 3 cars a minute driving through my little slice of suburbia. The low is a mere 8 cars when I went about midnight one night.
I also count other things from time to time, squirrels in the fall, robins in the spring for instance. After four years of scoping out my neighborhood I have a pretty good handle on things. I recognize when a car has been parked in the same spot for three weeks, new street signs and other random things. Here are some of the highlights of my walk through zip code 20121.
Yellow Shirt Guy:
If I leave my house at about 1:55pm, my standard departure time, I usually see a guy in a little green Honda wearing a bright yellow shirt driving towards me as I walk. I figure he is on his lunch break and heading back to work as he is always heading in the same direction at about the same time of day.
Darky The Squirrel:
There is a black squirrel in my neighborhood. I see him all the time, not just on my walk. Black squirrels are a genetic mutation and not all that uncommon but just seeing him is a bit of a treat. I always yell out "Hi Darky" whenever I see him. He has never said anything back though.
The Pedophile:
I also see this old man at the park pretty regularly on the swings. I call him the pedophile but maybe he is just a retired pilot who missed the friendly skies. He is on the swings a couple days a week and always looks like he is having a blast swinging away.
The Dog Lady:
I also see a retired woman walking her dog on a pretty regular basis. We have brief conversations about the weather but I don't even know her name after probably two years of seeing her. I do know her dog was a rescue from Hurricane Katrina but that's about it.
The Bleeding Tree:
Last year the power company cut down a bunch of trees around their power lines. Ever since, one of the leftover stumps has been "bleeding". Really, it just means the roots of the tree are still alive and capturing water and nutrients and sending them upwards to the tree that is no longer there. Still, it's wicked creepy and the kind of thing that Stephen King would love to use in one of his novels.
Homeless Guy:
Every now and then I see a guy sleeping in his car at night. He isn't there every night but every so often he will be in it with his pillow and blankets for a few nights in a row. The car is always there but he is not always in it. Maybe it's just when his mother-in-law comes to visit.
Mood: Content
Song Of The Day:
"Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood, in your neighborhood."
-In Your Neighborhood
The Muppets
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Wasted Time
The bad thing about having 333 cable channels is that if you surf up and down them long enough you will probably find something to watch. If I had a mere 57 channels or some other paltry number I am sure that I would be much more intelligent than I am now because I would do so much more reading.
I really don't watch an overabundance of TV, a big reason why is that I don't have a TV in my bedroom. I physically have to get up, walk out to the living room to watch TV. It's probably a good 30 foot walk. Whew! I am tired just thinking about it.
That being said there are times when I inevitably lumber out, sit down in my favorite chair and fire up the remote. As I sit and surf the guide there are always a few ultra cheezy movies that whenever I see them I will instantly turn to them and be glued to the screen until they are over. Here's a sample:
Weekend At Bernie's - a movie you probably couldn't get away with making in 2009 - but back in 1989 we apparently weren't quite as cultured as we are now. Who knew you could have so much fun carting a dead guy around for a weekend? The saddest thing is they even made a Weekend at Bernie's 2.
Van Wilder - something about the slacker turned hero plot always sucks me in. Maybe it's the music, it has a very good soundtrack. It certainly isn't Tara Reid's plastic face. Write that down!
One Crazy Summer - an ultra cheezy 1986 flick with John Cusack, Demi Moore and the lovable Bobcat Goldthwaith. It always makes me want to vacation on Martha's Vineyard, not that I could afford to these days.
Hot Fuzz - I never cared much for Shaun of the Dead but I have probably watched this flick at least 20 times. Lots of action, good music and a ridiculous plot. It's a perfect movie for 1:00am.
Captain Ron - if you don't wanna watch a one eyed ship captain (Kurt Russell) drive Martin Short nearly crazy you must be retarded! I much prefer this over Pirates of the Caribbean.
Real Genius - another classic 80s flick featuring a young Val Kilmer as a brainiac, slacker college student turned hero. Plus it has ultra luscious 80s vixen Deborah Foreman - of Valley Girl fame.
I could keep going - Super Troopers, Loser, The New Guy - but I will stop here.
Mood: Wick-frig-some (Wicked Friggin' Awesome).
Failed Advertising Slogan of the Day:
"Heartburn? Kick it in the junk with Zantac."
I really don't watch an overabundance of TV, a big reason why is that I don't have a TV in my bedroom. I physically have to get up, walk out to the living room to watch TV. It's probably a good 30 foot walk. Whew! I am tired just thinking about it.
That being said there are times when I inevitably lumber out, sit down in my favorite chair and fire up the remote. As I sit and surf the guide there are always a few ultra cheezy movies that whenever I see them I will instantly turn to them and be glued to the screen until they are over. Here's a sample:
Weekend At Bernie's - a movie you probably couldn't get away with making in 2009 - but back in 1989 we apparently weren't quite as cultured as we are now. Who knew you could have so much fun carting a dead guy around for a weekend? The saddest thing is they even made a Weekend at Bernie's 2.
Van Wilder - something about the slacker turned hero plot always sucks me in. Maybe it's the music, it has a very good soundtrack. It certainly isn't Tara Reid's plastic face. Write that down!
One Crazy Summer - an ultra cheezy 1986 flick with John Cusack, Demi Moore and the lovable Bobcat Goldthwaith. It always makes me want to vacation on Martha's Vineyard, not that I could afford to these days.
Hot Fuzz - I never cared much for Shaun of the Dead but I have probably watched this flick at least 20 times. Lots of action, good music and a ridiculous plot. It's a perfect movie for 1:00am.
Captain Ron - if you don't wanna watch a one eyed ship captain (Kurt Russell) drive Martin Short nearly crazy you must be retarded! I much prefer this over Pirates of the Caribbean.
Real Genius - another classic 80s flick featuring a young Val Kilmer as a brainiac, slacker college student turned hero. Plus it has ultra luscious 80s vixen Deborah Foreman - of Valley Girl fame.
I could keep going - Super Troopers, Loser, The New Guy - but I will stop here.
Mood: Wick-frig-some (Wicked Friggin' Awesome).
Failed Advertising Slogan of the Day:
"Heartburn? Kick it in the junk with Zantac."
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Five Million Steps
Every so often something happens that reignites a smoldering desire in me to hike the Appalachian Trail. Hiking was forced upon me at a very early age by my parents. Our vacation EVERY YEAR was to go to the wilds of the Maine Woods and spend a few days hiking in Baxter State Park. One of my earliest memories as a child is being carried in a backpack on my father's back as the family hiked the trails around South Branch Pond. I was too small to hike at this point, or I would have simply slowed the rest of the family down too much, so I got a free ride. To keep me entertained as they hiked they fed me Smarties candy, one at a time. The trick was I had to guess the color. My dad would ask me "what color is the sun" and I would shout out "yellow" and he would hand me a yellow Smartie. That kept me entertained for hours at age 3.
Fast forward to 1995 and a friend of mine from college decided to hike the AT upon college graduation. He was a big guy, probably 240 pounds when he hit the trail head at Springer Mountain, Georgia in June that year. Four months later some friends and I met him at the top of Maine's Mount Katahdin, we even lugged beer to the top of the mountain, and he was a svelte 180 pounds. At that point I thought to myself - if he can do it, I could do it.
A few years after that Bill Bryson pens his book "A Walk In The Woods" about his attempt to hike the AT and fans the embers. The book details his adventures on the trail. Bryson hikes 870 miles of the trail, less than half of the 2100+ miles it takes to complete the journey. I have read the book several times, even reading just a chapter of two makes the flames burn hotter.
Today I open up the Travel section of the Washington Post and I am sucked back in again. "Hit The Trail" is the name of the article and it is complete with a map of the route, food, gear and packing tips and more. The most important aspect of attempting an adventure like this is emotional competence. You have to believe that you can do it and you have to have the inner will to overcome the loneliness and obstacles you will encounter on the trail.
At this point the idea of actually hiking the whole AT is just a fantasy. Something I would consider if I become obscenely rich and had lots of free time on my hand. I do have a strong desire to do the Hundred Mile Wilderness but I would need to convince someone (Kevin???) to accompany me. The Hundred Mile Wilderness is the last 100 miles of the trail through the deepest woods of Maine. The intensity of the hiking and the days of solitude are said to be the biggest challenge of the entire 2,100 miles. I would like to hike it just to say that I have done it. Not too many others can make that claim.
Mood: Contemplative
Movie Quote of the Day:
"You're killing me Smalls!" - The Sandlot
Fast forward to 1995 and a friend of mine from college decided to hike the AT upon college graduation. He was a big guy, probably 240 pounds when he hit the trail head at Springer Mountain, Georgia in June that year. Four months later some friends and I met him at the top of Maine's Mount Katahdin, we even lugged beer to the top of the mountain, and he was a svelte 180 pounds. At that point I thought to myself - if he can do it, I could do it.
A few years after that Bill Bryson pens his book "A Walk In The Woods" about his attempt to hike the AT and fans the embers. The book details his adventures on the trail. Bryson hikes 870 miles of the trail, less than half of the 2100+ miles it takes to complete the journey. I have read the book several times, even reading just a chapter of two makes the flames burn hotter.
Today I open up the Travel section of the Washington Post and I am sucked back in again. "Hit The Trail" is the name of the article and it is complete with a map of the route, food, gear and packing tips and more. The most important aspect of attempting an adventure like this is emotional competence. You have to believe that you can do it and you have to have the inner will to overcome the loneliness and obstacles you will encounter on the trail.
At this point the idea of actually hiking the whole AT is just a fantasy. Something I would consider if I become obscenely rich and had lots of free time on my hand. I do have a strong desire to do the Hundred Mile Wilderness but I would need to convince someone (Kevin???) to accompany me. The Hundred Mile Wilderness is the last 100 miles of the trail through the deepest woods of Maine. The intensity of the hiking and the days of solitude are said to be the biggest challenge of the entire 2,100 miles. I would like to hike it just to say that I have done it. Not too many others can make that claim.
Mood: Contemplative
Movie Quote of the Day:
"You're killing me Smalls!" - The Sandlot
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Working For A Living
Today is kind of a special day. It marks my 10 year anniversary as an Ameriprise financial advisor. With the ongoing market turmoil my job has become more stressful than ever the past few months at the same time my income has been plummeting. In honor of my 10 years on the job here are a few careers that I could never stomach. Just something about them that rubs me the wrong way.
1) Water Boy - at pretty much every major sporting event there are people on the sidelines with water bottles at the ready to service the players as they come off the field, court, ice or what have you. A water boy (or girl I suppose) is responsible for squirting water or Gatorade or something (could be steroids for all we know) into the players' mouths when they come to the sidelines. They may also have the extra special task of wiping the sweat off the athletes. Nope, can't do it.
2) Realtor - this one may surprise you since a Realtor is a fairly nice, cushy professional job with solid earnings potential. Sell one $500,000 house in greater DC and your commission is $15,000. Certainly the housing slump has made this career a challenge but that is not the reason for my disdain of it. Realtors have to work Sundays and show houses. There is no way I could ever bring myself to have an open house on Super Bowl Sunday as I saw many Realtors doing just a few weeks ago.
3) Special Interest Lobbyist - Certainly DC is packed with associations for everything under the sun and they all have lobbyists. That is all well and good to a degree but it is not a career my conscious would allow me to pursue. Trying to persuade Congress that cigarette taxes should be lowered or that we should repeal the Clean Air Act is just not in my soul.
4) Commercial Actor - while I wouldn't be opposed to fame and money the path to reaching that nirvana does this career in for me. You have to start out at the bottom, in commercials. You have to feign excitement for a sale at Kia Motors or dance around like a spaz because you ate some Jello Pudding. No thanks. There are some really lousy commercials on the airwaves and I am very glad you will never see me in one.
5) Sweat Boy - This is perhaps the next step up from water boy in the NBA. At each end of the court there is a guy (never seen a girl) with a big mop and his job is to mop up the sweat the basketball players leave on the court. Once upon a time this was a very respected profession. Sweat boy would mop up the sweat after a collision or foul when players would end up on the floor. It was a valuable service and only performed when needed. That is not the case anymore. Sweat boys are whoring themselves out between every possession mopping up even the tiniest beads of perspiration on the court or perhaps mopping up nothing at all. Sweat boy, you have lost your soul for all eternity, pfffftttttt.
Someone told me they thought it would be fun to be a water boy because you could pretend that the players are your pets. You pat them on the head, squirt some water in their mouth and send them on their way. Unfortunately, that would only work until payday when you realize you get $8.50 per hour and they get $8.5 million per season.
Mood: Jovial
Song of the Day:
"I'm taking what their giving, cause I'm working for a living."
- Working For A Living
Huey Lewis and The News
1) Water Boy - at pretty much every major sporting event there are people on the sidelines with water bottles at the ready to service the players as they come off the field, court, ice or what have you. A water boy (or girl I suppose) is responsible for squirting water or Gatorade or something (could be steroids for all we know) into the players' mouths when they come to the sidelines. They may also have the extra special task of wiping the sweat off the athletes. Nope, can't do it.
2) Realtor - this one may surprise you since a Realtor is a fairly nice, cushy professional job with solid earnings potential. Sell one $500,000 house in greater DC and your commission is $15,000. Certainly the housing slump has made this career a challenge but that is not the reason for my disdain of it. Realtors have to work Sundays and show houses. There is no way I could ever bring myself to have an open house on Super Bowl Sunday as I saw many Realtors doing just a few weeks ago.
3) Special Interest Lobbyist - Certainly DC is packed with associations for everything under the sun and they all have lobbyists. That is all well and good to a degree but it is not a career my conscious would allow me to pursue. Trying to persuade Congress that cigarette taxes should be lowered or that we should repeal the Clean Air Act is just not in my soul.
4) Commercial Actor - while I wouldn't be opposed to fame and money the path to reaching that nirvana does this career in for me. You have to start out at the bottom, in commercials. You have to feign excitement for a sale at Kia Motors or dance around like a spaz because you ate some Jello Pudding. No thanks. There are some really lousy commercials on the airwaves and I am very glad you will never see me in one.
5) Sweat Boy - This is perhaps the next step up from water boy in the NBA. At each end of the court there is a guy (never seen a girl) with a big mop and his job is to mop up the sweat the basketball players leave on the court. Once upon a time this was a very respected profession. Sweat boy would mop up the sweat after a collision or foul when players would end up on the floor. It was a valuable service and only performed when needed. That is not the case anymore. Sweat boys are whoring themselves out between every possession mopping up even the tiniest beads of perspiration on the court or perhaps mopping up nothing at all. Sweat boy, you have lost your soul for all eternity, pfffftttttt.
Someone told me they thought it would be fun to be a water boy because you could pretend that the players are your pets. You pat them on the head, squirt some water in their mouth and send them on their way. Unfortunately, that would only work until payday when you realize you get $8.50 per hour and they get $8.5 million per season.
Mood: Jovial
Song of the Day:
"I'm taking what their giving, cause I'm working for a living."
- Working For A Living
Huey Lewis and The News
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Twenty-Oh-Eight
This time of year you can't turn on the TV, read the paper or surf the net without running into "The Year in Review" over and over again. Those things seem to come earlier and earlier each year, just like Christmas decorations at the mall. The problem with airing your "Year in Review" show on December 10th is that there are still 21 more days for stuff to happen. Here are two examples of that:
Bernie Madoff - he was arrested on December 11th and charged with investment fraud. His hedge fund investors may have lost $50 Billion - that's Billion with a B. Family fortunes, entire life savings and charitable trusts gone forever in an instant. This is major, big time news and should definitely be in your Year in Review show, list, blog...
The Shoe Thrower - that guy in Iraq threw his shoes at President Bush on December 14th. In the grand scheme of 2008 this is a relatively lame event, but the entire incident is over in 10 seconds. Surely you could cut out 10 seconds of Paris Hilton or Kanye West to fit it in.
Here's my attempt at a review of 2008.
Favorite Memory: Bonfire in Maine
Friday, October 10th. A warm fall night with copious amounts of Miller High Life, smores and Red Sox Playoff baseball via radio in Freeport, ME. It was the perfect ending for my last night of the year in Maine.
Best Song: "Shattered (Turn the Car Around)" by O.A.R.
Best Play: The Catch, Superbowl XLII
Up until February 3, 2008 if you mentioned "The Catch" it was understood that you were talking about the throw from Joe Montana to Dwight Clark to win the 1982 NFC Championship Game against the Dallas Cowboys. Not anymore. Now you are talking about the ball Eli Manning flings in the direction of David Tyree. Tyree leaps into the air to grab the ball, takes a pounding hit from the Patriots' Rodney Harrison and comes down with the ball clutched between his hands and helmet. Thirty six seconds later the Giants score the winning touchdown to end the Patriots hope of a perfect season.
Best Movie: Ironman
Biggest Surprise: Stock Market Collapse.
With one day of trading left the S&P 500 Index, which represents the 500 largest public companies in the US, is down a mind boggling 39.3% for the year. This is the worst year for the S&P Index since 1931. We have had bear markets in the past, but none as severe and swift as what we have seen in 2008.
Underdog of the Year: Tampa Bay Rays
You might expect me to pick my NY Football Giants win in Superbowl 42 but you would be wrong. The Giants proved that they could play with the Patriots in the final game of the regular season on December 29, 2007. It's awfully hard to beat a good team twice in a season, so I don't consider their Superbowl win much of a surprise.
What was a surprise to me was the Tampa Bay Rays making it to the World Series in 2008. This is a team that had never had a winning season since they came into existence in 1994. In fact, they had never finished better than 21 games under .500 in a season. They had finished in last place in their division every year except 2005 when they finished in...next to last place. A worst to first story indeed.
Mood: Hopeful
Song of the Day:
"Banks back then was lendin' money, the banker was the farmer's friend."
- A Month of Sundays
Don Henley
Bernie Madoff - he was arrested on December 11th and charged with investment fraud. His hedge fund investors may have lost $50 Billion - that's Billion with a B. Family fortunes, entire life savings and charitable trusts gone forever in an instant. This is major, big time news and should definitely be in your Year in Review show, list, blog...
The Shoe Thrower - that guy in Iraq threw his shoes at President Bush on December 14th. In the grand scheme of 2008 this is a relatively lame event, but the entire incident is over in 10 seconds. Surely you could cut out 10 seconds of Paris Hilton or Kanye West to fit it in.
Here's my attempt at a review of 2008.
Favorite Memory: Bonfire in Maine
Friday, October 10th. A warm fall night with copious amounts of Miller High Life, smores and Red Sox Playoff baseball via radio in Freeport, ME. It was the perfect ending for my last night of the year in Maine.
Best Song: "Shattered (Turn the Car Around)" by O.A.R.
Best Play: The Catch, Superbowl XLII
Up until February 3, 2008 if you mentioned "The Catch" it was understood that you were talking about the throw from Joe Montana to Dwight Clark to win the 1982 NFC Championship Game against the Dallas Cowboys. Not anymore. Now you are talking about the ball Eli Manning flings in the direction of David Tyree. Tyree leaps into the air to grab the ball, takes a pounding hit from the Patriots' Rodney Harrison and comes down with the ball clutched between his hands and helmet. Thirty six seconds later the Giants score the winning touchdown to end the Patriots hope of a perfect season.
Best Movie: Ironman
Biggest Surprise: Stock Market Collapse.
With one day of trading left the S&P 500 Index, which represents the 500 largest public companies in the US, is down a mind boggling 39.3% for the year. This is the worst year for the S&P Index since 1931. We have had bear markets in the past, but none as severe and swift as what we have seen in 2008.
Underdog of the Year: Tampa Bay Rays
You might expect me to pick my NY Football Giants win in Superbowl 42 but you would be wrong. The Giants proved that they could play with the Patriots in the final game of the regular season on December 29, 2007. It's awfully hard to beat a good team twice in a season, so I don't consider their Superbowl win much of a surprise.
What was a surprise to me was the Tampa Bay Rays making it to the World Series in 2008. This is a team that had never had a winning season since they came into existence in 1994. In fact, they had never finished better than 21 games under .500 in a season. They had finished in last place in their division every year except 2005 when they finished in...next to last place. A worst to first story indeed.
Mood: Hopeful
Song of the Day:
"Banks back then was lendin' money, the banker was the farmer's friend."
- A Month of Sundays
Don Henley
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Hookup!
There is nothing better than a hookup. No, no, no - I am not talking about THAT kind of hookup. I am talking about GETTING hooked up. You know - free stuff, special deals, insider stock tips (ok, maybe not that last one). Getting something for nothing is one of life's purest pleasures. There are a lot of cool places to have the hookup - the bar, the clothing store, the restaurant, the bike shop. I have been fortunate enough over the years to have the hookup in a variety of areas.
In high school and college I had the hookup at the local rock n roll radio station. That meant all kinds of freebies - t-shirts, cassettes, (remember those?) CDs, concert tix, bumper stickers, unclaimed prizes. It wouldn't surprise me if nearly one third of my current music collection was from being hooked up at WKIT-FM 'back in the day'. I still have a "K100 Bangor's Home of Rock n Roll" t-shirt which I wear all the time. I always listen to Bobby Russell and the gang when I am in range.
A few years later at my first real job after college I had the hookup when it came to sporting events. I got to go to dozens of Orioles, Capitals and Wizards games and never had to pay for any of them. The Caps tickets were the best of the bunch - center ice, 2 or 3 rows behind the penalty box. Left field, club box Orioles tix weren't too shabby either. Gotta love it when they bring the food to you!
Currently, the only place I appear to have the hookup is at Dunkin' Donuts. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go in - 6am, 7pm - or even what state I am in - Virginia, New Jersey, Massachusetts - I always seem to get the hookup now at Dunkin. If I order a box of 6 donuts I usually end up with 7 or 8. One time they even stuffed 9 donuts in the box. They were a little smushed but still very tasty. My last visit I bought a box of 25 munchkins and there were actually 45 munchkins in it. (Yes, I counted them before I ate them.) Not really sure why I am getting this royal treatment by DnD. Maybe they have pity on me because I come in at the weirdest hours. Perhaps I just look really good compared to the weight and IQ of their average customer. Whatever the reason the donut gods are smiling on me is I am very grateful.
Mood: Magnanamous
Quote of the Day:
"Mmmmmmm, donuts." - Homer Simpson
In high school and college I had the hookup at the local rock n roll radio station. That meant all kinds of freebies - t-shirts, cassettes, (remember those?) CDs, concert tix, bumper stickers, unclaimed prizes. It wouldn't surprise me if nearly one third of my current music collection was from being hooked up at WKIT-FM 'back in the day'. I still have a "K100 Bangor's Home of Rock n Roll" t-shirt which I wear all the time. I always listen to Bobby Russell and the gang when I am in range.
A few years later at my first real job after college I had the hookup when it came to sporting events. I got to go to dozens of Orioles, Capitals and Wizards games and never had to pay for any of them. The Caps tickets were the best of the bunch - center ice, 2 or 3 rows behind the penalty box. Left field, club box Orioles tix weren't too shabby either. Gotta love it when they bring the food to you!
Currently, the only place I appear to have the hookup is at Dunkin' Donuts. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go in - 6am, 7pm - or even what state I am in - Virginia, New Jersey, Massachusetts - I always seem to get the hookup now at Dunkin. If I order a box of 6 donuts I usually end up with 7 or 8. One time they even stuffed 9 donuts in the box. They were a little smushed but still very tasty. My last visit I bought a box of 25 munchkins and there were actually 45 munchkins in it. (Yes, I counted them before I ate them.) Not really sure why I am getting this royal treatment by DnD. Maybe they have pity on me because I come in at the weirdest hours. Perhaps I just look really good compared to the weight and IQ of their average customer. Whatever the reason the donut gods are smiling on me is I am very grateful.
Mood: Magnanamous
Quote of the Day:
"Mmmmmmm, donuts." - Homer Simpson
Monday, August 11, 2008
Pine Tree Top Five
I spend at least one week each summer back in my home state of Maine. No matter what else is on the itinerary I always time to fit these 5 things into each visit.
Lobster – You think lobster and you think Maine, no doubt about it. I always partake when I am there because the lobster there is fresh and crazy cheap. I can crack open a lobster with the best of ‘em but my favorite way to eat it is via the Lobster Roll. Let someone else do all the work and give me the reward. Am I an American or what?
Star Gazing – I always find a few spare moments to make my way out to a dock or a field to star gaze. I am always amazed at how many more stars I can see in the sky without the street lights of the suburbs. I truly understand why our galaxy is called the Milky Way after a few minutes of star gazing in the Pine Tree State.
River Rat – That is the brand name of the inner tube I use to float on Clearwater Pond each summer. There is nothing I enjoy more than paddling out in the River Rat and dubbing around the lake for a few hours or until I need another beer. Good times!
Red Hot Dog – In Maine, the hot dogs are red, bright red. Not exactly fire engine red but pretty much exactly the color red of the red socks in the Boston Red Sox logo. They crunch when you bite them, much like a good dill pickle does. I have never seen Red Hot Dogs anywhere else in the world besides the State of Maine.
Hammock Time – my second favorite way to kill time after the River Rat is to chillax in my mom’s hammock. It is one of those big fancy ones with its own metal stand – no trees harmed thank you very much. Swinging in the breeze with my iPod or WKIT supplying the tunes is a great way to kill a sunny afternoon.
Mood: Refreshed
Song of the Day:
"There's a fire that's been burning, right outside my door..."
-Take Me Home
Phil Collins
Lobster – You think lobster and you think Maine, no doubt about it. I always partake when I am there because the lobster there is fresh and crazy cheap. I can crack open a lobster with the best of ‘em but my favorite way to eat it is via the Lobster Roll. Let someone else do all the work and give me the reward. Am I an American or what?
Star Gazing – I always find a few spare moments to make my way out to a dock or a field to star gaze. I am always amazed at how many more stars I can see in the sky without the street lights of the suburbs. I truly understand why our galaxy is called the Milky Way after a few minutes of star gazing in the Pine Tree State.
River Rat – That is the brand name of the inner tube I use to float on Clearwater Pond each summer. There is nothing I enjoy more than paddling out in the River Rat and dubbing around the lake for a few hours or until I need another beer. Good times!
Red Hot Dog – In Maine, the hot dogs are red, bright red. Not exactly fire engine red but pretty much exactly the color red of the red socks in the Boston Red Sox logo. They crunch when you bite them, much like a good dill pickle does. I have never seen Red Hot Dogs anywhere else in the world besides the State of Maine.
Hammock Time – my second favorite way to kill time after the River Rat is to chillax in my mom’s hammock. It is one of those big fancy ones with its own metal stand – no trees harmed thank you very much. Swinging in the breeze with my iPod or WKIT supplying the tunes is a great way to kill a sunny afternoon.
Mood: Refreshed
Song of the Day:
"There's a fire that's been burning, right outside my door..."
-Take Me Home
Phil Collins
Friday, April 4, 2008
Signs of Spring
I hate winter. I don't think I can even put into words how much I despise snow and cold and wind. Luckily the winter was a mild one here in NoVa. A mere 10 inches of snow this year, less than half of what we normally get. Maybe global warming isn't so bad after all. No, perish that thought. I don't want to get a sunburn walking from the house to my car in 2035. But that's a whole 'nother blog.
After our mild winter of 2008 spring is in full effect in greater DC. The Cherry Blossoms are out, the grass is green and it is only a matter of time until I will be burning my butt on the black leather seats of my car when I hop in. Here are my Top 5 Favorite Signs of Spring.
#5) Green Grass. Just looking out the window and seeing a vibrant green carpet of lawn. The grass turning green is about a month long process. You may catch a fresh green sprig or two in early March or even late February. But it takes 3 or 4 more weeks for several thousand of the little buggers to sprout up and form a lawn.
#4) Daffodils. The earliest breed of flowers to sprout up and show their elegance each year. I am always amazed how many daffodils you see when traveling around the local highways. It seems they are planted in every median strip and next to every off ramp in addition to being a garden staple. I-395 in Alexandria and Arlington is just chock full of daffodils.
#3) The smell of a fresh cut lawn. I am the only one in my family who is not stricken with big time allergies. As a result, I just love the unmistakable scent of a fresh cut lawn. That is a sign that spring is truly here to stay. I haven't got a whiff of it yet, but any day now it will hit me and I will drink it in.
#2) MLB Opening Day. Yes, I am slightly obsessed with baseball. I would probably watch 2 kids play 1-on-1 wiffleball if you gave me a hot dog, a Coke and a lawn chair. Just hearing the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd gives me tingles. Everyone is in first place on Opening Day - even the Rays, Pirates and Royals. I have been to a few opening days. It snowed at the last one I went to in 2003. I decided at that time that the best seat for Opening Day is on my couch.
#1) Forsythia. You know that bright yellow shrub you see every spring and don't know the name of. It's called forsythia. I didn't have to look it up. We had some in front of our house growing up. Its bright, vibrant, electric-yellow blossoms can brighten up even the most dreary March day. Just like with daffodils, I am always amazed how much forsythia there is. It is everywhere but you only notice it with its yellow bloomers a showing. The rest of the year it is very conspicuous with its standard green leaves.
Honorable Mention: Spring Training.
When pitchers and catchers report to Florida and Arizona in mid-February it is a pseudo-sign of spring. That at least means that the grass is green and the temps are warm in Florida and spring will be working its way up the East Coast soon.
Mood: Energetic
Listening To:
"Allow me to introduce myself. My name ain't John this is somebody else's greasy shirt, my name's Kurt."
-Famous People
Brad Paisley
After our mild winter of 2008 spring is in full effect in greater DC. The Cherry Blossoms are out, the grass is green and it is only a matter of time until I will be burning my butt on the black leather seats of my car when I hop in. Here are my Top 5 Favorite Signs of Spring.
#5) Green Grass. Just looking out the window and seeing a vibrant green carpet of lawn. The grass turning green is about a month long process. You may catch a fresh green sprig or two in early March or even late February. But it takes 3 or 4 more weeks for several thousand of the little buggers to sprout up and form a lawn.
#4) Daffodils. The earliest breed of flowers to sprout up and show their elegance each year. I am always amazed how many daffodils you see when traveling around the local highways. It seems they are planted in every median strip and next to every off ramp in addition to being a garden staple. I-395 in Alexandria and Arlington is just chock full of daffodils.
#3) The smell of a fresh cut lawn. I am the only one in my family who is not stricken with big time allergies. As a result, I just love the unmistakable scent of a fresh cut lawn. That is a sign that spring is truly here to stay. I haven't got a whiff of it yet, but any day now it will hit me and I will drink it in.
#2) MLB Opening Day. Yes, I am slightly obsessed with baseball. I would probably watch 2 kids play 1-on-1 wiffleball if you gave me a hot dog, a Coke and a lawn chair. Just hearing the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd gives me tingles. Everyone is in first place on Opening Day - even the Rays, Pirates and Royals. I have been to a few opening days. It snowed at the last one I went to in 2003. I decided at that time that the best seat for Opening Day is on my couch.
#1) Forsythia. You know that bright yellow shrub you see every spring and don't know the name of. It's called forsythia. I didn't have to look it up. We had some in front of our house growing up. Its bright, vibrant, electric-yellow blossoms can brighten up even the most dreary March day. Just like with daffodils, I am always amazed how much forsythia there is. It is everywhere but you only notice it with its yellow bloomers a showing. The rest of the year it is very conspicuous with its standard green leaves.
Honorable Mention: Spring Training.
When pitchers and catchers report to Florida and Arizona in mid-February it is a pseudo-sign of spring. That at least means that the grass is green and the temps are warm in Florida and spring will be working its way up the East Coast soon.
Mood: Energetic
Listening To:
"Allow me to introduce myself. My name ain't John this is somebody else's greasy shirt, my name's Kurt."
-Famous People
Brad Paisley
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Rites of Passage
There are certain events in your life that even as they occur you are aware of their significance. You immediately know you will carry their memory with you for all time. They are called rites of passage. Things such as:
* Riding Your Bike Without Training Wheels
* Obtaining Your Driver's License
* Your First Sexual Conquest
* Graduating High School
* Buying Your First Car
* Getting Married
* Having a Child
* Retirement
Rites of passage should evoke warm memories for years to come. I experienced my very own rite of passage today. I joined the ranks and ranks of Americans who rent a storage locker. Yes, this is a very important date indeed! It was the day I determined I had accumulated too much stuff to store it all in my home. I need an extra place to store some of my crap - wahoo! Am I living the dream or what?
Truth be told, I am getting ready for some major home improvements and I simply need to make some of my stuff disappear for a while. So really this is just a temporary phenomenon. I hope to be storage locker free within two months. Talk may be cheap but storage is not!
Mood: Stoked!
Listening To:
"High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man"
-Sowing The Seeds of Love
Tears For Fears
* Riding Your Bike Without Training Wheels
* Obtaining Your Driver's License
* Your First Sexual Conquest
* Graduating High School
* Buying Your First Car
* Getting Married
* Having a Child
* Retirement
Rites of passage should evoke warm memories for years to come. I experienced my very own rite of passage today. I joined the ranks and ranks of Americans who rent a storage locker. Yes, this is a very important date indeed! It was the day I determined I had accumulated too much stuff to store it all in my home. I need an extra place to store some of my crap - wahoo! Am I living the dream or what?
Truth be told, I am getting ready for some major home improvements and I simply need to make some of my stuff disappear for a while. So really this is just a temporary phenomenon. I hope to be storage locker free within two months. Talk may be cheap but storage is not!
Mood: Stoked!
Listening To:
"High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man"
-Sowing The Seeds of Love
Tears For Fears
Saturday, March 3, 2007
How Much Would It Take?
I was watching an episode of my guilty pleasure TV show recently - Beverly Hills 90210. Go ahead and laugh and before you ask, no I don't masturbate to Tori Spelling. Anyway, on the show Donna's mom offered a guy Donna was dating $10,000 to drop out of her life. This guy Ray (Jamie Walters) didn't take the money, he was just so in love he could not be bought. The thing is, Ray and Donna had only been going out a few weeks, so how in love could they really have been at that point? So that got me thinking, how much would it take?
I am thinking if someone offered me ten large to stop seeing some girl I had only been dating a few weeks I would probably do a Steve Miller Band - "Take The Money and Run". Sure, I might be missing out on the love of my life, but I would have a whole bunch of dead presidents to keep me company. You can call me a sellout or a man-whore or say I am not romantic if you want but I bet you have a price too.
Offhand I am not particularly worried that I will actually have to test out this theory. One thing at a time, a 3rd date would be a nice change of pace at this point.
Random Movie Quote:
Goodnight you princes of Maine. You kings of New England." - The Cider House Rules
I am thinking if someone offered me ten large to stop seeing some girl I had only been dating a few weeks I would probably do a Steve Miller Band - "Take The Money and Run". Sure, I might be missing out on the love of my life, but I would have a whole bunch of dead presidents to keep me company. You can call me a sellout or a man-whore or say I am not romantic if you want but I bet you have a price too.
Offhand I am not particularly worried that I will actually have to test out this theory. One thing at a time, a 3rd date would be a nice change of pace at this point.
Random Movie Quote:
Goodnight you princes of Maine. You kings of New England." - The Cider House Rules
Friday, February 9, 2007
Random Occurances
Every now and then something will happen that is so totally random. A couple weeks back I was sitting at a red light, waiting to make a left hand turn. Before the light went green for me the pedestrians got the right of way and made their way past my car. A pretty normal suburban scene until a gal walked by toting a unicycle. I wasn't on my way to or from the circus. I was actually on the way home from the post office. She wasn't riding the unicycle, she was simply toting it beside her as she walked. To me, this implied she was waiting to ride it at some kind of special occasion that awaited her down the road. I could not even imagine what that could be in January, in Centreville. I also couldn't remember the last time I saw anyone with a unicycle before then, still can't even now. Who knows, maybe the circus winters in C'Ville.
Today another random and totally unrelated thing occurred. I had the ole iTunes on shuffle and it decided to play the same song twice in a row. I have noticed that iTunes has a tendency to repeat songs in short order. Quite often it will play a song and then try to repeat it a mere 5 or 6 songs later. But the odds that it would select one particular song from the thousands of songs available and then select it again as the next song just boggle my mind. That is about as random as things get. Normally I would simply skip a song that had recently been played in shuffle mode the next time it came up. But today, I listened to "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray twice in a row. I figure something that random deserves some recognition.
"It was like deja vu all over again."
Today another random and totally unrelated thing occurred. I had the ole iTunes on shuffle and it decided to play the same song twice in a row. I have noticed that iTunes has a tendency to repeat songs in short order. Quite often it will play a song and then try to repeat it a mere 5 or 6 songs later. But the odds that it would select one particular song from the thousands of songs available and then select it again as the next song just boggle my mind. That is about as random as things get. Normally I would simply skip a song that had recently been played in shuffle mode the next time it came up. But today, I listened to "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray twice in a row. I figure something that random deserves some recognition.
"It was like deja vu all over again."
Thursday, November 9, 2006
Holi-daze
I remember growing up how much I hated Labor Day because it meant that summer was over for sure and it was back to school the next day. But once that was behind me, it was only a few short weeks to Halloween. Halloween was cool because I got free candy. I believe in anything that gives me presents, candy or money - tooth fairy, Santa Claus, porn fairy - it's all good in my book. Even as an adult I enjoy Halloween. A chance to dress up in a Ron Burgundy costume, get drunk and act like an ass for 6 hours - what is not to love?
Then of course came Thanksgiving, a chance to reflect on the year, spend time with family and be glad to be an American, with my humblest apologies to the natives of course. Something we always had at Thanksgiving was those little square after dinner mints. You know the ones in pastel colors of pink, white yellow and green. They just melted in your mouth. To this day, I can go to my mom's house and she will have a dish of those out for Turkey Day. They are conspicuously absent the rest of the year however.
Then along came Christmas, we always put the tree up the first weekend of December. It was a fake tree because my brother was allergic to the real thing. Up went the advent calendar and we began the countdown to Christmas - 25 days, 24, 23.... Shopping downtown and at the mall, it was fun for the whole family.
So what happened? Now Christmas is acting like some strung out whore, offering up hummers on the sidewalk. You walk into Tar-mart on October 23rd looking for Halloween candy and sure enough there she is all hopped up on tinsel begging you to squeeze her tits. No Christmas, I don't want to feel your tits! Yes, they are very nice. Now put them away and stop acting like such a whore!!!
Then of course came Thanksgiving, a chance to reflect on the year, spend time with family and be glad to be an American, with my humblest apologies to the natives of course. Something we always had at Thanksgiving was those little square after dinner mints. You know the ones in pastel colors of pink, white yellow and green. They just melted in your mouth. To this day, I can go to my mom's house and she will have a dish of those out for Turkey Day. They are conspicuously absent the rest of the year however.
Then along came Christmas, we always put the tree up the first weekend of December. It was a fake tree because my brother was allergic to the real thing. Up went the advent calendar and we began the countdown to Christmas - 25 days, 24, 23.... Shopping downtown and at the mall, it was fun for the whole family.
So what happened? Now Christmas is acting like some strung out whore, offering up hummers on the sidewalk. You walk into Tar-mart on October 23rd looking for Halloween candy and sure enough there she is all hopped up on tinsel begging you to squeeze her tits. No Christmas, I don't want to feel your tits! Yes, they are very nice. Now put them away and stop acting like such a whore!!!
Friday, May 26, 2006
Ode to A Ho
It was three-hundred
sixty-five days ago,
That I said goodbye
to that dirty ho.
She used to call
ten times a day.
And talk and talk
with nothing to say.
She gave me migraines
and caused me grief.
Now my headaches are gone
what a relief!
The sex I miss some
it was good, not great.
Now it's been months
since I've even had a date.
Do I miss her a little
no, far from it.
Oh yeah, and the drapes
never matched the carpet!
Random Movie Quote:
"They told me to pick up a little blue car. They didn't say anything about a little blue man!" - Big Fat Liar
There Is Nothing Cooler Than:
Carving your initials in the cement in front of your house before it dries.
Failed Advertising Slogan of the Day:
"Cialis - it's for your cock!"
sixty-five days ago,
That I said goodbye
to that dirty ho.
She used to call
ten times a day.
And talk and talk
with nothing to say.
She gave me migraines
and caused me grief.
Now my headaches are gone
what a relief!
The sex I miss some
it was good, not great.
Now it's been months
since I've even had a date.
Do I miss her a little
no, far from it.
Oh yeah, and the drapes
never matched the carpet!
Random Movie Quote:
"They told me to pick up a little blue car. They didn't say anything about a little blue man!" - Big Fat Liar
There Is Nothing Cooler Than:
Carving your initials in the cement in front of your house before it dries.
Failed Advertising Slogan of the Day:
"Cialis - it's for your cock!"
Saturday, May 13, 2006
What Was I Thinking?
I do stupid things from time to time, especially when money is involved. The biggest one over the past year was buying a non-refundable ticket to visit my girlfriend in Hungary - yes, the country. I got a sweet deal on it - $786 American, with Austrian Airlines. (Orbitz, baby.) Of course, me n sweetie are no longer an item so I canceled the flight and I have a $786 credit with Austrian Airlines which expires at the end of July. A lot of good that will do me.
Austrian only flies to one European city from either of their two US Destinations (DC and NYC). If you guessed Vienna, Austria, you are correct-o-mundo! And flights over the summer, the peak travel season to Europe, start at around $2,200. So it looks like I am eating this one unless I wanna add another $1,400 to my losses.
Let's dig out the instant replay:
* I bought a non-refundable ticket
* I chose an airline that has no domestic destinations
* The only place I can fly directly to is Vienna, Austria
* It is gonna cost me another $1,400 to make that happen
What was I thinking? If I had only ponied up the extra $22 for the cancellation insurance, doh! You know what they say: "Hindsight is 20-20" and "Love is blind." I will just toss this one up to Joe Penis. I gotta stop letting him make all my travel plans!
Random Movie Quote:
"I'm gonna call you 'frog'. Cause you're cute like a frog and I wanna jump ya." - Smokey and the Bandit
Rant of The Day:
This one goes out to the ladies. For the love of God, do not shave your eyebrows off and then paint them in. No matter what your "best friend" tells you, it does not look good, it looks RE-TAR-DED!
There Is Nothing Cooler Than:
Hitting a game-winning home run - with a pink bat - with your Mom in the stands on Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!
Austrian only flies to one European city from either of their two US Destinations (DC and NYC). If you guessed Vienna, Austria, you are correct-o-mundo! And flights over the summer, the peak travel season to Europe, start at around $2,200. So it looks like I am eating this one unless I wanna add another $1,400 to my losses.
Let's dig out the instant replay:
* I bought a non-refundable ticket
* I chose an airline that has no domestic destinations
* The only place I can fly directly to is Vienna, Austria
* It is gonna cost me another $1,400 to make that happen
What was I thinking? If I had only ponied up the extra $22 for the cancellation insurance, doh! You know what they say: "Hindsight is 20-20" and "Love is blind." I will just toss this one up to Joe Penis. I gotta stop letting him make all my travel plans!
Random Movie Quote:
"I'm gonna call you 'frog'. Cause you're cute like a frog and I wanna jump ya." - Smokey and the Bandit
Rant of The Day:
This one goes out to the ladies. For the love of God, do not shave your eyebrows off and then paint them in. No matter what your "best friend" tells you, it does not look good, it looks RE-TAR-DED!
There Is Nothing Cooler Than:
Hitting a game-winning home run - with a pink bat - with your Mom in the stands on Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!
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