Friday, November 20, 2009

If It Ain't Broke...

You know the rest of that saying, I know you do. Your parents probably used it almost as much as "were you raised in a barn?" or perhaps "I'm glad you aren't my kid, you stupid imbecilic retard." OK, that is actually a line from the movie One Crazy Summer.

Anyway, every now and then a company takes what is by all accounts a wonderful product and "improves" it but the end result is that it gets fucked up all to hell. The best example of this endeavor is the 1985 introduction of, drum roll please, New Coke.

One of my favorite childhood treats and something I still seek out to this day when I am back in New England are Necco Wafers. For those unfamiliar, Necco stands for New England Confectionary Company and they are based in Revere, Massachusetts. Necco has been making Necco Wafers since 1847. They come in rolls with 8 assorted flavors. They have standard flavors like lemon, lime, chocolate and orange but also very unique flavors of clove, wintergreen, cinnamon and licorice. Just popping one in my mouth instantly takes me back to days of yore.

Well, it used to but not anymore. Necco has suddenly "updated" Necco Wafers in 2009 after 162 years of continuous sales success. Translation: "they have fucked them all to hell." Their website brags of making the candy out of all natural flavors and blah, blah, blah. That is all well and good but they suddenly taste like shit. No, I take that back, they taste like the shit that eats shit.

If I get really ambitious I may email the company to let them know they fucked this one up. A quick search of the web reveals there are lots of longtime Necco Wafer fans just as pissed off as I am. I wonder if their management team used to work for Coke in the mid-1980s?

Mood: Violated

Song Of The Day:

"I love you like a fat kid love cake."

-21 Questions

50 Cent