Don't Believe the Hype

You know what I am talking about, the Olympics. This was supposed to be our year, we were gonna be rolling in gold medals, it was practically a sure thing. Names like Miller, Ohno and Kwan were ready to deliver. Bode Miller said he would compete for 5 medals. Nope, he didn't win a thing, he didn't even qualify for a couple of his prime events. I think Bode stands for "Been Out Drinking Everywhere" because that is apparently all he wanted to do in Torino. He even said he wouldn't change a thing if he could do it all over. Dude, do us all a favor and crawl back to where ever you are from. Bode is from New Hampshire, a state that is as overrated as he is.

Not all our efforts were futile though, or in Bode's case non-existent. We won a bronze in curling. I actually watched some curling but I decided it was just a little too boring for me to watch. I think it would keep you on the edge of your seat if you were stoned. The huge rocks they slide down the ice are even called stones, maybe that is why. (I know, the "stones" are actually called "rocks" but the joke doesn't work that way.)

A guy named Seth Wescott won a gold in Snowboardcross, a brand new Olympic sport. Seth is the classic Olympic athlete - honored to be able to compete, proud to represent his country and humble in victory. Oh yeah, Seth Wescott is from Maine. Them Mainers, they are some wicked decent! Come on, don't be shy, say it with me now: Fuck New Hampshire!

Random Movie Quote:

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." - Say Anything