Opinion Confirmed!

I have long had the opinion that NASA is the biggest piece of fatback in our pork laden Federal government. We spend billions upon billions year after year to send satellites on journeys to places they will never come back from. Places we will never visit, places without atmospheres, water or cable TV. Can there be a bigger waste of the taxpayers money? Well, maybe the War on Terror which has somehow landed us in Iraq. A country that did not have toothpaste or toilet paper nonetheless WMDs.

Now I understand there is a scientific purpose for some of the things NASA does and I am cool with that. However, I think they could accomplish all the "critical" exploration with probably 2% of their current budget. Just scrap the rest of it. We don't need an International Space Station. What we actually need is to figure out how to colonize the moon so when this planet is toast we will have somewhere to go.

The latest proof that the ISS is a complete waste of money is that they are getting ready to launch a golf ball into space on an upcoming space walk on Wednesday. Yes, you read that correctly, part of our tax dollars are going so that an astronaut - actually a cosmonaut because a Ruski is doing the swinging - can launch a golf ball into the final frontier. For Christ's sake, if we are paying for it at least let an American hit the damn thing! Is that too much to ask? The Ruski doesn't even play golf, he had to train specifically for this mission, how sad is that?

Imagine what 98% of NASAs budget could do to improve education, restore New Orleans, find alternative energy sources or for cancer research. Just don't let those War on Terror people have the money, who knows how many more countries they will invade with it.

Footnote: When I ran this post through the spell-checker it wanted to replace "NASA" with "Nauseas". Enough said.

Holi-daze

I remember growing up how much I hated Labor Day because it meant that summer was over for sure and it was back to school the next day. But once that was behind me, it was only a few short weeks to Halloween. Halloween was cool because I got free candy. I believe in anything that gives me presents, candy or money - tooth fairy, Santa Claus, porn fairy - it's all good in my book. Even as an adult I enjoy Halloween. A chance to dress up in a Ron Burgundy costume, get drunk and act like an ass for 6 hours - what is not to love?

Then of course came Thanksgiving, a chance to reflect on the year, spend time with family and be glad to be an American, with my humblest apologies to the natives of course. Something we always had at Thanksgiving was those little square after dinner mints. You know the ones in pastel colors of pink, white yellow and green. They just melted in your mouth. To this day, I can go to my mom's house and she will have a dish of those out for Turkey Day. They are conspicuously absent the rest of the year however.

Then along came Christmas, we always put the tree up the first weekend of December. It was a fake tree because my brother was allergic to the real thing. Up went the advent calendar and we began the countdown to Christmas - 25 days, 24, 23.... Shopping downtown and at the mall, it was fun for the whole family.

So what happened? Now Christmas is acting like some strung out whore, offering up hummers on the sidewalk. You walk into Tar-mart on October 23rd looking for Halloween candy and sure enough there she is all hopped up on tinsel begging you to squeeze her tits. No Christmas, I don't want to feel your tits! Yes, they are very nice. Now put them away and stop acting like such a whore!!!