Arggg, Ye Mateys!

It's finally here. I am so excited, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. Yup, you guessed it - it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

The only day of the year when you can call your girlfriend "a scurvy bilge rat "or say to your sexy female co-worker: "Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?" Well, you will probably still get slapped in either case, but what the hell. It's worth losing your job to get in some good pirate lingo. You are probably going to get fired soon anyway.

I found out about TLAP Day, as the regulars call it, in September 2005. It was September 22nd or 24th or something like that. Either way, I just missed it last year. Not this year, mateys. I have had it circled on my calendar for months now.

So, holloway on the mun-sail and throw back a pint of grog with me, yee landlubber!

Plus, now we're only a few short weeks away from Scotchtoberfest! Wicked pissah!!!

Third World Cup

Yes, I know I am like three months late but I simply have to reply to my boy Skillz wonderful blog about the World Cup. My initial reaction is..........(yawn).

Here are the top three reasons I did not watch any of the Third World Cup:

1) I own an automobile.

2) I am not employed as a landscaper, dishwasher or maintenance worker.

3) My mountain bike is used for recreation, not transportation.

If I wanted to watch people go back and forth and back and forth without accomplishing anything I would simply watch C-SPAN.

Now take your communist ass back to Germany you dirty, motherbitching ass clown!

Actually, at the time I was much more interested in the NCAA College Baseball Championship. I was rooting for two teams - once my University of Maine Black Bears were eliminated - the University of South Carolina Gamecocks and the Oregon State Beavers. Yes, I was hoping it would be the Cocks and Beavers playing for the National Championship. I had the headline all picked out in my mind: "Cocks Pound Beavers for National Title." How cool would it have been to open up the Sunday Post and see that?